I have to admit that I've always been more of an animal person. Children brought up fears in me–with infants, there is a fear of how fragile they are. With the older children, there is the fear of how honest some of them may be, and how well brought up they are to know what's nice to say and not so nice.
On the flip side, that's what's so great about children: They are totally honest.
Somewhere in my early thirties I was in a Safeway and I've always had tendencies toward shyness and insecurity. On this one day I had stopped off at Safeway on my way home from work. I used to bike to work then. I had my bike helmet on my head. It was a hot day and my face was hot and sweaty. I walked by an older child sitting in the shopping cart. she must have been five years old or so. As I walked by she pointed at me and said, "she's ugly." I just kept walking. Her dad was near by and I think he walked over to her and who knows what he mumbled to her.
All I know is that I felt about one inch tall. Even though I didn't know this child, those simple words fed into an insecurity that I felt. From a rational perspective, I could talk myself around it or better yet ignore the comment. But emotionally, it planted a small seed–and not that I had considered working with children then–I think I told myself I never would.
I can tell that a shift has occurred in me, and at this stage in my life, my relationship toward children has changed–is changing in positive ways.
I've said it before, and I don't mind repeating that I believe we all learn and grow at our own pace. In looking back at my childhood, there are many instances where I've had to battle with self-esteem issues. It feels good that as I continue going through life, the layers continue shedding, being replaced by new ones–stronger ones.
We're never too old to learn and grow.
6 comments:
You are right about the shedding layers. I often wonder how many people realise that is what they do, at the times that it is happening.
Hindsight is always interesting, but it is not as fascinating as contemporaneous insight could be.
Rebb,
I love the photo.
About children, we never know what they do or say. Sometimes, it's wonderful, other times, complete lies which they have no idea where it's coming from or what that mean.
ZACL, You bring up a good point about whether people realize this shedding when it is happening.
Your second thought is a great quotable quote. And when hindsight and contemporaneous insight come together, oh the things that can be gleamed!
In fact, now I'm wondering...is it possible to have true contemporaneous insight without a bit of hindsight? Hmm.
Keiko, Thank you. I doodled the picture on the same day on my iPad with my finger using an App called DoodleBuddy. It seemed to go along with my blog.
Yes, you're right about children. I think I remember reading that your son has a toddler. What a fun age of discovery.
I was reading in the book about lies and how children do tell them but they don't necessarily understand that they are doing something wrong and that if they get into trouble and are confronted by a parent in a confrontational manner, they may revert to a pretend or fantasy type world to work through whatever it is they've done and to us they are telling lies.
Keiko and I have had the discussion on children's lies. There is another word 'fibbing', and Rebb, this all about nuance and how adults perceive what a child does. For a very young child, 'lies' is too strong a term in my view.
Children develop into good 'story tellers,' something they learn from adults and the socialisation with whatever media is current. It behoves us to disentangle what is what with some clever conversation and explanation to suit the age group.
ZACL, I agree with you that 'lies' is too strong a term and until I read a bit in the book, I hadn't thought about when children fibb. Yes, I beleive as you've pointed out, that it's about nuance and perception.
Thank you for your thoughts; I appreciate your insights.
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