Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Just Another Rainy Day in Summer

First day of Summer was one week ago from yesterday. Yesterday it rained. A rainy day snuggled between all these warm days we’ve had. I didn’t believe the weather reports. I woke up and I believed because my body told me so. I have several headache triggers, one of which is pressure in the air and especially right before it rains. And that’s how I woke up. I took my pills, had my coffee, tried to shake it off. The pressure often begins in my mouth. I can feel this deep pressure between my teeth and gums in this one little corner of my mouth and it works its way down and all around. Sometimes I feel like a boat rocking back and forth; my system gets thrown out of whack. Sometimes medium pressure sometimes high. So the weather and I have always had this intimate relationship. Hot hot days do it too. I feel like a barometer sometimes and although it can be a nuisance, it also makes me appreciate the sensitivity of the body, nature—and the little moments in between.

As I walked out to the parking lot to drive to work I heard the sound of the squirrel—that mischievous chortle he does.  I have not heard his sound in a long while. I looked up in the tree where I heard him, but I could not see him—only my ears could see. I smiled and then my eye met two purple flowers growing from the yard beyond; they seized me and my smiles grew wider.  Thank you squirrel and thank you other cars for not covering the space and for my eyes to meet these two gifts today.

When I looked at the photo this morning, a final gift—a leaf— in the form of a miniature heart in the bottom right corner. It warmed my heart. And it’s these moments that make me forget the pressure, begin turning it out into smooth peace.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Morning Thoughts ~ Movement

There’s a quote that I read yesterday and it keeps tapping on my shoulder. I read Robert Fulghum’s Words I Wish I Wrote: A Collection of Writing that Inspired My Ideas some years ago. I have come back to it because I enjoyed the wisdom that he collected in this slim volume.

The man who never alters his opinion

is like standing water,
and breeds reptiles of the mind.

- William Blake

I love the simplicity and the imagery of this truth.

It reminds me to keep keeping my mind open and to keep evaluating my opinions—and how I am in a constant state of flux, nothing standing still for more than a breath.

Yesterday I got the bug to sign up for an online class at the local community college. The bug came a little late and by now most of the courses are full. I did find one course that I am contemplating taking: “Psychology of Personality: Personal, Social, Cultural Differences.” I’ve taken psychology courses before, but something about this class really draws me in. I tell myself that I could get a book or look on the web or watch a video series, but I want to explore this course and see what it has to offer—see if it can help me shed some skin on what I think I already know about the subject and stimulate my thinking—to shake the scales off and reevaluate my current opinions.

So with that, I will “empty  my cup” best I can and “dive in” to the experience.

Happy Day!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Morning Swirl

Morning Swirl.

I remember being a young girl; the time was shortly after my mother passed away. My introverted, quiet little self found solace in computer magazines. I have a dim memory of how that interest began. My stepfather and brother didn’t have a lot of money—a great debt was left to us. I wanted the Commodore 64 computer so bad. I remember practically being brought to tears when they said we couldn’t afford it. A little girl doesn’t think of these things, at least I didn’t. I had other concerns. My stepfather and brother must have talked amongst themselves and scraped up enough money to buy me that computer.

The memories that still flicker are of a little girl entering code into the computer from one of the magazines so that some picture would show up on the screen. I also remember that my cousin’s husband at the time whom was at least 40 years older than her with white hair, was to offer me comfort during this period of loss. I remember seeing him in person a few times—a kind man; I only remember communicating with him a few times on the computer. He was helpful, and to tell the truth, I don’t remember how it all worked. I also don’t remember if it was visiting my cousin’s home that I first discovered the computer and then wanted one of my own.

Many of these memories and feelings have come up since buying an iPod Touch—that I technically cannot afford—oh, the irony! I charged it to the credit card and sometimes feel guilty for having purchased it. But it brings me back to a time; it reminds me of difficult times and good times. It offers a bit of distraction, entertainment, education and allows me continue to appreciate the positive aspects of technology. I enjoy searching through and downloading the many different apps. And even if I don’t fully use them, there they are.


It’s perplexing how relaxing it can be to run one’s finger across a touch screen to finger paint! An app that I came across is Meritum Paint. I only have so much control but because of the way the app is designed, I feel relaxed created abstract images by running my finger across the screen. This image here is one I made this morning. Now I can finger paint without the clean up. A few shakes of the iPod Touch and the image is saved to my camera roll.

Have a happy day creating and writing!

Meritum Paint iTunes Preview