Thursday, October 7, 2010

Remembrance

It’s been a long time since I’ve visited my mother at the cemetery. I never felt the need, since she is so much a part of me, but it’s been on my mind lately, especially since this is the month of her passing, and I always forget the exact date she left us. Perhaps the exact date is not relevant. It is the remembering of her and the feeling of connecting with her through my writing and thoughts—through my life that is relevant.

This is also the month that will mark a year that my dearly beloved passed to the other realm, and I must say that when he took his leave—as time went on—it was as though he and my mother became one and that there was a peace that I cannot describe. I know that they are in good hands, better hands than is possible here for them in this earthly realm. I often speak to them about different things and I also see them in my mind’s eye sitting together, having tea, talking, and looking down upon me and grandmother there in her rocking chair. Together, they guide and sustain me. They are my fire—deep spirit internalized—completion.

My beloved, though, is my strongest driving spiritual force in all of my endeavors since his passing. It is my mother and grandmother that offer a sense of balance, since they have been with me in spirit for so long now. Until I join them all, I carry them with me always with love and care.

Rest In Peace ~ Descanse en Paz.

4 comments:

keiko amano said...

Rebb,

This is another coincidence of ours. I, too, went to my family grave last week because my mother passed away on Oct. 1st. The day is perhaps not important, but I can't forget. I took a new tea cup to replace the old one that has been sitting in front of the grave stone. In the past, I forgot to replace it a few times, and the old cup was chipped. Anyway, I brought a green cup that I own. I forgot about it, but last year, I must have remembered it because a nice brownish cup I used to own was there. Anyway, I replaced it with the green one. Maybe, this is the beginning of my habit to replace the tea cup everytime I go there. That way, I can entertain my mother and other dead family members, plus people who visits the grave.

By the way, it was a beautiful sunny day. I don't know the kind of weather you had that day, but it seemed it was especially peaceful day.

Vincent said...

I was glad to read this, for the way it reveals your tranquillity of spirit, and your facility in expressing yourself so that you communicate completely what you have to say.

Rebb said...

Keiko, We have many coincidences don’t we? I like your thought of taking a new tea cup every time you go there and about entertaining your mother and other family members.

Funny thing is the day started out cloudy, but as the day woke, sun started peeking out. When I was kneeling before my mother’s grave, which she shares with my great grandmother, the sun seemed to shine brighter, and yes, it felt very peaceful.

I’m glad we both had good visits, Keiko. The date of my mother’s passing was October 26—and now I won’t forget.

Rebb said...

Thank you, Vincent. I’m glad that you were able to feel the tranquility of my remembrance, and in its brevity, I’m especially glad that you felt I was able to communicate completely.