Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Journal ~ Work, Thinking, Change

3:33 a.m. Thats what time the clock said two separate mornings when I looked up, unable to sleep, wondering how early or late it was. I thought that was peculiar. I did finally go back to bed. 

I haven't been thinking too much about it, but thoughts of possible changes have been on my mind. My boss told us that he intended on selling his practice. He doesn't know when or if it will happen. He said it could be one year, two years, or maybe more. 

I've gotten so used to his ways and it wasn't always easy. He's mellowed with age, though he still has his moments. 

When the time comes, it could be interesting, new, fresh. I could stay or maybe I'll find another job. For now, we continue on.

One thing's for sure: We've reached a certain comfort in our working relationship and it makes me laugh. I know to stay away when he's in a bad mood or focused. Just yesterday he called me a weenie because I was hesitant about something, maybe even being a bit of a scardy cat. I think that's a first, though. I don't know if he's called me that before, but he said it in a playful way. 

It's been hammered into my psyche not to take things personally with him, and I think I've just about mastered this one; after 10 years, I sure hope so. Among other things, this job has been a good lesson in that; though, in general, I'm still working on that.

He's pretty laid back and most of the time, he does't take himself too seriously. But, he definitely seems ready to retire.  

I know that we won't know until we know. I look forward to change and of course there's the uncertainty. But, it's too easy to get stuck, and as much as I enjoy my job, assisting and keeping the office in order, I do sense that I've been stagnating for quite some time, which is probably why I continue taking classes (though that has slowed down too), both for personal enrichment and for job enrichment.

Though, yesterday when I was walking back to class from a break, I felt that I was ready to leave classes behind. It was a strange thought. I've always loved learning and I still do, but maybe I'm done with the institutional setting. I'm not sure. I just know that's but another small change. I just want to make sure I don't lose the parts of me that have fueled me and ignited my passion.

But come to think of it, I think the class has everything to do with it. Sure, it's interesting to learn about Federal taxation from a basic theoretical framework, but is it exciting? Does it get my juices flowing? Not exactly. I think that must be what I felt yesterday. 

I'll just have to keep reading for joy, keep writing, and following where the pen leads me.


Kayla Lynn said...

i'm catching up here. i stopped when i saw the 3:33 as this has a very personal meaning to me regarding my deceased brother. it's interesting how numbers do that... the clock always mocking us or something.

on another note, i can thoroughly relate to your talk of tax classes... not at all stimulating in the way i need stimulation. and that would be why i decided to leave that part of schooling behind as you are thinking of now. i enjoy my job, as you do, but i no know way feel passion for it... stagnant- that is a good word for it.

i hope with whatever comes for you and your firm that the change is welcomed and accepted by you... it sure sounds as though it will be!

Rebb said...

Hi there. I like how put it about time...it does have its ways.

Yep, I'll be glad when the class is over. It's interesting to a point, and another reason I finally decided to take this class at this time is that it's slow at work, so I thought it would be a nice way to break things up when I need something to do before busy season arrives. The good news whenever I take classes that don't stimulate my creative side, it reinforces what I love and need to balance it all out.

Thanks...I hope things work out too...the boss isn't exactly very forthcoming about his negotiations and leaves us in the dark, so that leaves us to guess and wait it out. He's always been somewhat secretive and it can get annoying when it effects us. Oh well, it is what it is for now.

But a change, one way or the other, is in order, that's for sure!