I remember dating a particular guy in my early twenties. I believe he was at least ten years older. He had plans. He was planted firmly. He had a good story about how he paved his path to being a self-employed person in his trade. I was just a play thing, and it was quite short lived. What did I know? We went on a hike one day, found a spot to sit and take in our surroundings, to talk. He asked me one of the questions that I dreaded: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Gulp. Giggles from me. “I don’t know” I said.
I think I pretty much knew at that point, that this relationship was done—if one can even call it a relationship.
It’s about 17 years later—almost, and when this question was posed to me recently, I didn’t feel dread, exactly, but I still didn’t have an answer like most people do. My reply was that I would probably still be taking classes, fueling my passion for learning. I know that I can learn on my own, and I try to do a fare amount of that, but there is something about the structure of a classroom, whether online or face-to-face, that I need, that I desire.
For my next adventure, I will be taking two courses in the Fall. I had enrolled in these courses at the same time I enrolled in the Summer speech course. I was actually going to take a Latin American literature course, but the instructor changed, and I figured I could take that later. My final decision was: Career and Life Planning and Beginning Film and TV Script Writing. I always love taking any type of English or writing courses and it had never occurred to me to take a script writing course at the community college. I said, “What the hell.” It’s an area that I have not explored in detail and one where I feel the structure would be beneficial, and I feel that I sometimes view the world through a lens of sorts.
I emailed the instructor with a concern of whether this was a good fit for me. His reply put me at ease. He provided me with a syllabus and this is how he closed his email to me, “If you like to create characters and get them into trouble and see how they work their problems out you should enjoy the process… At its best it is poetry.” I felt my juices fire up. Also I realized that inspiration came from, some time ago, reading and viewing Red Room author, writer, scriptwriter, and filmmaker, Abdelwahab Hammoudi’s blog. Seeds are everywhere and one never knows when they will circle back or begin sprouting.
I told myself that I will go in with an “empty cup” and I will try not to have expectations, but enjoy the journey of both courses. I have done a fair amount of processing what I want to do with my life and how can I bring my passions together. Apparently, I’m still working on it. I recently started re-reading, “How to Find the Work you Love” by Laurence G. Boldt, just as an appetizer. I feel like where I’m at right now, my mind is more receptive and maybe even a little more prepared to surrender. I know that I love creativity and life and people. I also know that I still need to develop my self-confidence, so with that, the journey continues. I would feel empty without learning, processing, sharing, creating. I feel that I’m in a continuous state of flux and that I am always at the crossroads. I suppose that’s not such a bad place to be.
3 comments:
Rebb,
I love your “Gulp!” Some people are business oriented, I guess. I’m not, but I do think of my five-year plan. It’s always a personal skill and likely-to-succeed-if-I-put-my-utmost-effort kind of plans such as my progression in English language or when I was in junior high, going to the U.S. was my big five year plan. And to write my memoir about my mother in both languages was my huge ten-year plan, and I did finish them in ten years. To look back, I enjoy the fruit of my labor because without them, I wouldn’t be here to blog and exchange my ideas online. This is more than money can buy.
About script writing, I took one online course and finished the first draft. So, I have a memoir, a play, short stories, essays, and a movie script on the same theme and subject. And come to think of it, I tend to write about my mother still even in blogging. It’s amazing how big she was to me.
When I saw the first photo, I thought about Rancho Santa Fe Botanical Garden in Claremont. Then I saw the last photo. It’s almost exactly the same as the path I usually take there. It’s my favorite garden pretty close to my house.
Keiko, I admire that you have had plans and followed through. You should feel very proud that you have accomplished what you have and you continue to thrive. Going to the U.S. when you were in junior high is a huge accomplishment. That takes a lot of courage. And look at all you’ve written and in two languages! Wow! It really is inspirational.
The only plan I suppose—maybe I could even call it a pact that I made with myself (which, as you know because I have written about it) is to continue along with writing. I have written only a few memoir pages here and here, but have for at least a decade had a fuller memoir in my head—of my mother also. But, what has happened is I’ve written fragments of it in the form of the blogs from time to time. But that you made a ten-year plan—that is amazing and you did it! I look forward to reading it one day when and if you share it. Yes, that is truly priceless.
Now why doesn’t it surprise me that you have taken a script writing course, Keiko—hehe. It’s great to have the opportunity to learn about and meet your mother through your blogs. Our mother’s seem to add a certain fire to our writing and our lives.
The photos are of the same park where I took many of the little flower close up photos. Isn’t it amazing that many places have their similarities and looking at the photo, it can easily be Rancho Santa Fe Botanical Garden? This is part of the park that is considered the garden section. I can’t remember the proper name, but there are little walking paths, as you can see, and places to sit. Many people get married at the gazebo up above. I didn’t photograph it. I also took some nice pictures of the Canadian Geese closer to the grass and pond. So many pictures. I’m trying to space them out.
Rebb,
About my past 10 year plan included my improvement of English. Before that, I didn't write anything,never took a creative writing class or read a writing related book. So, in your case, you can skip it, so it will take you one year, but since you already wrote the story in fragments, you can probably write in six months or so. Some people write in a few months, and I heard some writer wrote in a few weeks. So, it all depends on your needs.
About the garden, I have a secret bench I usually sit, and read my favorite word of dedication which is engraved on the bench. They also have a gazebo, and someone I know will be getting married there in a few months.
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