Tuesday, December 10, 2013

At First They Didn't See the Need

She’s reading a book, cozy in her cocoon. He comes in to the room; she looks up, half an eye still on the fictional world inside those pages.

“Can we play the question game,” he asks.

“Right now?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while.”

They had been reading a book….and in it the author set aside time for the couples to get to know each other, to talk about other things besides work and the usual banter.

Then he gets a look on his face, and she sets her book down. “What is it,” she asks, “I thought we were playing the question game."

“Well, I wanted to talk to you. We’re not getting any younger...when we were in Carmel a few weeks back, I was going to propose to you on the beach.”

They had talked about marriage before and it was all over the map. They didn’t see a need. Then they thought, it’s possible. They already felt married in soul and spirit, in body and mind.

“I’m glad you didn’t she said. I mean, I would have felt self-conscious, put on the spot. Let’s do it, of course! But what changed your mind. Just the other day when we were at the wine bar, talking to that fellow, we agreed there wasn’t a need to be married.”

“I just know. It’s time.”

“Yes, It is time.”

She knew she didn’t want a big to do. She wanted to elope. She wanted to get married right away at City Hall and then let those that needed to know, know. Eventually they could have a celebration, but for now, this was their moment and she was happy that he was able to concede to having it a private ceremony with only his parents as witnesses. She thought it would have been romantic to have perfect strangers stand in because in some way they could feel special to witness a special moment. But, it would still be secret, except for his parents who would be the first to know anyway.

At first, she figured she would wear her normal clothes, but as they began talking, he said he would wear his suit and that he’d like her to wear a dress. She began planning and searching. What date? Let it fall to chance? Pick a date that had some symbolism, some significance?

It was ironic too that just recently she had gotten together with a friend and marriage came up and she said, no, we don’t see the need. It was only a week later that this change of events was upon her.

The first thing they decided to do was to find rings. He had told her that that was part of what held him back on the proposal—he didn’t know what ring she would like. She was happy that he waited. At first she thought they could both have silver bands; later she would learn about the different types of metal and why silver was not used. She saw a band with Celtic knots that she liked for both of them to wear. Then she saw some white-gold bands. She had never been drawn to yellow-gold. She didn’t want diamonds—at first. But at the second jewelry store they went to, she finally decided to look at the rings with diamonds. She didn’t want anything big. She pointed at a slender white-gold band with understated diamonds. He said to her that he was glad she was beginning to look at the diamond rings. He wanted her to have one, and he liked the ones she was looking at. She tried it on; it was perfect.

And so on this day, Monday, December 9, 2013, they sealed their commitment to each other and look forward to their new journey together as husband and wife. 


Optimistic Existentialist said...

Rebb may I ask if this is about you?? If so, congrats!! If not, I still love it nonetheless :)

Kayla Lynn said...

i really like how you told this story. it gave me that feeling in my stomach, hanging on to your words. it feels as if this is real... but i am curious :)

Ryan said...

"It was ironic too that just recently she had gotten together with a friend and marriage came up and she said, no, we don’t see the need. It was only a week later that this change of events was upon her."

This is why I don't make big life plans, we never know what the hell is coming next. Anything can happen, even the changing of minds.

Rebb said...

Thanks, Keith and Kayla Lynn,

Yes, it's real, true, and about me. :)

Rebb said...

It's true, Ryan, that we don't always know what's coming next...but that's part of the beauty of life...finding out. I had a T-shirt a long time ago that had a cool picture on the front and it said, "If you don't go in, you can't find out." I love that saying. It's so simple, yet profound.

In my case, it's not that we didn't want to...In life, whether we actually commit to a big plan or not, there will always be uncertainty and heartache along the way. I think we miss out by being scared. I'm tired of being scared.

I appreciate your comments...thanks for reading. :)