Sitting at Wendy's, staring out the window. Class will be in two hours. Conversations start and stop.
Two times this week I drove past where I wanted to go because I was in my thoughts so deeply. In one case, I had to keep going and go around the block. In the other case, I had to turn into another street and back track. Both times, I was headed to a fast food joint. It's not like me to be so out of it.
Today feels like a mentally hazy day. The weather's in between–wanting to be hot and cold and that's how I feel at the moment: in between–in some sort of limbo, trying to stay focused, in the now, but being pulled toward: what could be and when.
I keep looking up, aimlessly placing pieces of food into my mouth, staring out the window, cars driving somewhere, always cars, people trying to get somewhere. Where? Why? How? When? It seems that we spend so much time going back and forth, back and forth like water lapping on the shore. So many people have a clear direction, a clear purpose and can actualize that; others of us are in some sort of spinning inner tube, a little less direction, hoping the tube keeps afloat and...well...
**
And today is today; so far a good morning, a new day, yet with remnants of that May day. But that's alright, it keeps me thinking, keeps me moving forward, keeps me wondering, and exploring.
4 comments:
Wondering and exploring is what we're all about, and I'm afraid that if I stop I'll cease to exist.
Good writing
This is very introspective and it really gives us a good glimpse into what you were feeling here. I have been in these situations before - feeling in a haze. A lot of times that's a sign for me that I need to take a day and just kind of have some me time :)
I think you're right, Ryan, and I like the way you put it. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks.
Yes, Keith, that sounds like just what I need. A few me days. : )
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