It Begins as a Whisper

It begins as a whisper–

light shines

within,

breath 

slows,

then

becomes

steady.

Weightlessness

joining with the

stars, sun, moon, sky

rising to the top

of the mountain to

look out at the

landscape within.

Photo taken at Butterlies & Blooms, SF Botanical Gardens 2013

Little Messages from the Universe

It was just another laundry day. I had forgotten to pack a book, so when I stopped to get detergent, waiting in line, I peeked at the magazines. Prevention caught my eye. The January issue promising: "Your Healthiest Year Ever."

In between loads, I read through the bite size tips that would lead me on the right path for now and the coming New Year. What pulled me in and gave me the kick-start that I needed was a woman sharing how she didn't like exercising (I can relate), but that she goes through the full Sun Salutation six times each morning. 

Since reading that last week, I've been doing the same. I've always found my way back to good habits only to let them go. But I'm determined to gently set down new healthy roots. I have no choice. I have to listen to my body. December has been one of the worst months for my migraines. I've popped more pills than I'd like to avert the headaches from completely taking hold, but have not always been successful. I have so many triggers that it's not always easy to balance them all: Food, stress, hormones, the weather, muscle tension. I have no more excuses. I need to start eating better and on time, make sure I'm getting good sleep, and work on stress reduction and how I deal with it. 

I've started small by going through the full Sun Salutation one time, then two. For me, it's important that I show up and incorporate a routine that feels manageable. 

And then I remembered that on Thanksgiving day while I was working in the kitchen, I heard a loud noise like something fell. I thought it was the step ladder that I had placed around the corner out of my way. Later that day, when I walked into the bedroom, I was greeted by a pile of disheveled books scattered on the floor. My makeshift book stack on the desk had lost its balance and finally tumbled down. I looked at the books on the floor, some crumpled up and thought, are you trying to tell me something? I didn't put them back the way they were, but tried to set them right again. I got a box from the garage and there they still sit.

Then something else happened. Since the past week I've been doing a little bit of Yoga each morning, and possibly seeing a part of Deepak Chopra's talk on his new book, The Future of God: A Practical Approach to Spirituality for our Times, brought me back to a meditation book with a CD called Opening to Meditation: A Gentle, Guided Approach by Diana Lang. It seems as though this book has been waiting for me. It had been bumped around from the pile vying for my attention. It called out to me. I set it on my side of the bed on Friday morning as a reminder. It wasn't until this morning after Yoga that I got my CD player, my headphones, laid a towel down on the living room floor, turned the lights off, and got into Corpse pose (Savasana), and pressed play, ready to listen.

I've meditated off and on over the years and have also had many meditative moments–mindful moments–walking and being. But, I felt–feel ready to bring a more intentional meditation practice back into my life, where I set aside time to go into that beautiful state for longer than a moment will allow. I've always enjoyed guided meditations. The sound of the right voice soothes me, along with calming music.

This morning, when I was done meditating, I got my notebook out, then my sketch pad. I drew a simple drawing that tried to convey how I felt during meditation.

It's nighttime now. Since drafting this out this morning with pencil and paper, the box and pile of books have been re-organized, and I can now use my desk again! I also sorted through more books in search of more to sell and donate the books they didn't want. 

Putting things back into some sense of order always makes me feel better, and now that I'm also trying to get my spiritual self back into order, that feels great too. I'm getting a head start on the New Year!

I'm glad I forgot to bring a book on that particular laundry day; otherwise, I may have missed the message that the Universe was sending me.

 

Driving in the Rain

Driving in the rain–

black pavement

is a canvas fit

for bright 

lights.

Street lights and

car lights make

the roads glow with color. 

I drive

through rain, following in a

steady stream, feeling

secure in the bright

night.

Journal ~ An Intimate Thanksgiving & Pre-thinking for my First Turkey

I've been writing the list in my head, part of it has gone on paper. What do I still need for the stuffing? I have the fresh Willie Bird in the refrigerator, one box of stuffing, garlic. I think I need another box of stuffing.

I volunteered to prepare the turkey and the stuffing this year. My mother-in-law said to give her the giblets and she'll do the gravy. In my mind, the pan drippings are essential for the gravy, but she seems determined. I will still make a basic pan gravy, partially because I rarely make gravies, and partially because I can't let those drippings go to waste.

This will be my first time ever cooking a turkey, at least I'm pretty sure. I have a vague memory that's off very far in the distance, but I truly can't recall if that was a turkey or a large chicken. I think that's also why I roasted two small chickens a couple weeks back–to get some practice in. The part that makes me the most nervous is reading and trusting the thermometer. 

I feel ready and confident. I've watched a video on chow.com, the woman at Macy's gave me some tips when I was looking for roasting pans, and I've looked at a few other online recipes for ideas on the direction I'm going to go. To stuff or not to stuff? To brine or not to brine? I'm leaning toward stuffing, but no to brining. 

I had lunch with a friend this past week. and she said she didn't remember ever cooking a full turkey either. She's in her 60's, so I didn't feel so bad not having done it myself.

This will be my first time making stuffing too. For that I have a partial recipe in my head from my grandmother. As it turns out, my mother-in-law's mother made a similar stuffing, so it will be a melding of the two–in spirit and in love.

The grocery stores will probably be busy today. I was going to go late at night yesterday, but I thought one more day won't hurt.

It will be an intimate Thanksgiving at hubby's parents. There will be six of us plus Petunia and Lucas, the doggies. 

Petunia has been the greatest gift. She puts a smile on all of our faces with her spunkiness. It's hard to believe she's only 6 months old. She loves rocks. She brings big ones into the house, and when you see the size of the rock, you wonder how she lugged such a thing inside. Lucas loves her too. They are dear hearts together. Such a happy union all the way around. I look forward to seeing her each time we visit.

Petunia and my mother-in-law have bonded perfectly. It seems that her moods have lightened, which is a blessing.

I will be visiting with my uncle and brother today. My uncle will be happy to see my brother. 

There's a lot I'm grateful for–the small things and the big. I'm happy to be here visiting on this wonderful earthly plane. 

When I watch the news, it makes me wish there was more peace where there is violence and greed. I try to stay positive. I breathe. I think. I reflect. I wonder. It never entirely makes sense to me, and yet it has a sense of its own.

From my little corner, I send positive energy to the world...and I hope that those that need a warm meal, shelter, or a genuine smile, receive it today, tomorrow, and always. 

I drive by the pool

I drive by the pool

under the night sky;

steam rises, lights are bright;

aqua blue waters illuminate–

swimming in the rain.

A Lone Leaf

The boss in on vacation,

enveloped by the warm humidity of Vietnam.

 

We receive the call from the buyer's assistant.

The deal has been closed.

Texts back and forth to confirm. 

Not much will change, or at least at the outset.

I look out through the window of his empty office, 

in darkness, the only light coming from the outside. 

I stand and look at the city covered in gray and white, 

rain patterning down,

trees scattered along bare sidewalks,

 

As I look, I see there a bare tree with one lone leaf not its own, 

caught in its branches, 

holding it there until it blows away. 

Chicken Tostadas & Berry Crumble Crisp

Tuesday night we had tostadas from the leftover chickens that I roasted on Sunday. 

I've tried to be better about planning dinners for the week and doing all of the shopping on Sundays, whereas before I had been planning day by day.

I had seen cookbook in the new section at the library: Eat & Make: Charming Recipes and Kitchen Crafts You will Love by Paul Lowe aka Sweet Paul. I flipped through it and my eyes landed on the picture of a Nutty Berry Crumble. It was done. I would check the book out and a berry crumble or crisp of some sort was added to the week's meal plan.

I love taking pictures, and I've really enjoyed taking pictures of the food. Fresh fruits and vegetables are heaven to my eyes.

The tostadas were very simple as you can see. I was trying to work with what I had left because I hadn't intentionally worked them into my plan. I chopped up the remaining chicken, added one potato, a small can of olives, a can of El Pato brand tomato sauce with spices, and enough water to cover the potatoes. I let everything simmer down, stirring occasionally until the potatoes were tender. We topped our tostadas with Monterey Jack cheese, had a half avocado on the side and called it dinner. 

After dinner, I set to work on the mixed berry crumble. I also had my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook propped open to the berry crisp recipe. I decided to use the measurements in the Sweet Paul recipe which called for 3 cups of mixed berries, about one small container each and a 1/2 cup of mixed nuts. For the berries I used raspberry, blackberry, and blueberries just as he did. For the nuts I used walnuts and pecans. I also added oats to the crumble because I like the added texture and taste.

We served the crumble with a small dab of vanilla ice cream. It was divine. I'm not a fruit person, but I love berry and apple crisps and crumbles.

Delish!