Writing and Books: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

On Sunday I had a patch of time to myself, about an hour and a half before hubby returned from his errand, and we went out and about together. I could have studied, could have read, cleaned. Instead, I felt a pull to the garage to organize boxes of books. There were many empty boxes that were scattered, that made it look as though there was more clutter than there actually was. 

I started breaking down the empty boxes, then I began looking through the boxes of books, tying again to find more books to let go of. I was able to find two small boxes full of books that I felt it was time to part with, books that I knew I wasn't going to read, that had a time and place in my life, and I would only keep transporting them from home to home, possibly not giving them a proper home for themselves, confining my dear books to these lifeless boxes. It was time for these books to find new homes. 

I was also able to consolidate some books to other boxes, marking them so that I would easily be able to find what I was looking for if the urge arose. Also, to hubby's dismay, because I would only be brining more clutter into the house, I brought two boxes of books inside. I put them in the living room and waiting for him to scold me. I told him I would find a place for them. The living room was off limits. I know how I can be, so the next morning I unpacked the boxes, stacked the books on my side of the bed to deal with later that day. I don't have any more shelf space, so I added to the stack in the corner on top of the small desk that I don't' actually use, and the rest are stacked in front of that stack. I really didn't bring all that many books back into the house. I don't like packing the boxes too heavy. In fact, I've let go of a lot of books. It's bitter sweet; at the same time it feels good to let go of these books that have been there for me, that have brought me joy–even the books that I never got around to reading all the way through. Now, they can bring someone else happiness when they're browsing the shelves of the local thrift store.  

Each time I'm ready, I will continue looking through my boxes of books, tying to let go of more. Eventually, I will be left with only a few that I cannot part with–at least, not until I'm ready.

Yesterday before work, I went to the top section of a long shelf that shares books with clothes. It's where I keep some of my inspirational writing books. I pulled from the shelf: One Continuous Mistake: Four Noble Truths for Writers by Gail Sher. Then I went to the bottom section of the shelf where I keep the few books I have on poetry. I pulled Mary Oliver's New and Selected Poems: Volume One. With these in hand, I read a few pages from each to start my day. I love how Gail Sher describes writing. She says, "Writing is infinite, ever elusive, and ungraspable. We can never know what writing is. We can only know our experience minute to minute, as we write" (pg. 6). I nodded my head with a big smile as I read over her words again. She sums it up perfectly, and that's one of the many reasons I love writing for the constant discovery that writing offers, as long as we keep our pens moving and our minds free.

I've only dipped sparingly into Mary Oliver's poetry. I've had her book for several years, but as with certain books, I go at them at different paces. I'm ready to visit longer. What little of her poetry I have read, it is so incredibly beautiful and touches my soul.

During a break at work I wrote and posted "Small Slice of Solace." 

Writing and books are often on my mind throughout the day, sometimes they slip away, but yesterday, it seemed there was a constant stream.

After work, I was ready to visit Barnes & Noble and use my gift card that I've been hanging on to for the right moment. I was pretty confident that I would be walking out of there with a cookbook, but I didn't even feel pulled to that section. I almost purchased a small light that is supposed to create calm. Where I really wanted to go was to the writing section. There's just something about writing books that I adore. I love hearing inspirational stories and words of wisdom from writing books. I wasn't looking for any one book. I sat on the floor and started looking through the possibilities. I saw a book that I had checked out of the library that I never finished  before returning it: Several Short Sentences about Writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg. I remember it being a fun book with a unique approach and it really is as the title suggests. Next I saw a book that I hadn't seen before or maybe I had and wasn't interested at the time: Around the Writer's Block: Using Brain Science to Solve Writer's Resistance*

*Including Writer's Block, Procrastination, Paralysis, Perfectionism, Postponing, Distractions, Self-Sabotage, Excessive Criticism, Overscheduling, and Endlessly Delaying Your Writing

by Rosanne Bane.

Now how could I resist a title like that!

I think I'm really going to like this one. I've only just begun and I feel ignited.

And so, these were the two books that I chose.

Yesterday was a full course of reading, writing, books, and nature. I felt refreshed, inspired, rejuvenated.  

Small Slice of Solace

Dew drops glisten on tufts of grass.

Tiny clear jewels, they sparkle and glisten. 

Birch trees canopy the surrounding grass, familiar ghosts upon this land. 

Water gurgles from the fountain. 

Cars whizz by. A blue bird rests upon a branch, he flies away. 

A small slice of solace to this noisy day. 

Journal ~ Work, Thinking, Change

3:33 a.m. Thats what time the clock said two separate mornings when I looked up, unable to sleep, wondering how early or late it was. I thought that was peculiar. I did finally go back to bed. 

I haven't been thinking too much about it, but thoughts of possible changes have been on my mind. My boss told us that he intended on selling his practice. He doesn't know when or if it will happen. He said it could be one year, two years, or maybe more. 

I've gotten so used to his ways and it wasn't always easy. He's mellowed with age, though he still has his moments. 

When the time comes, it could be interesting, new, fresh. I could stay or maybe I'll find another job. For now, we continue on.

One thing's for sure: We've reached a certain comfort in our working relationship and it makes me laugh. I know to stay away when he's in a bad mood or focused. Just yesterday he called me a weenie because I was hesitant about something, maybe even being a bit of a scardy cat. I think that's a first, though. I don't know if he's called me that before, but he said it in a playful way. 

It's been hammered into my psyche not to take things personally with him, and I think I've just about mastered this one; after 10 years, I sure hope so. Among other things, this job has been a good lesson in that; though, in general, I'm still working on that.

He's pretty laid back and most of the time, he does't take himself too seriously. But, he definitely seems ready to retire.  

I know that we won't know until we know. I look forward to change and of course there's the uncertainty. But, it's too easy to get stuck, and as much as I enjoy my job, assisting and keeping the office in order, I do sense that I've been stagnating for quite some time, which is probably why I continue taking classes (though that has slowed down too), both for personal enrichment and for job enrichment.

Though, yesterday when I was walking back to class from a break, I felt that I was ready to leave classes behind. It was a strange thought. I've always loved learning and I still do, but maybe I'm done with the institutional setting. I'm not sure. I just know that's but another small change. I just want to make sure I don't lose the parts of me that have fueled me and ignited my passion.

But come to think of it, I think the class has everything to do with it. Sure, it's interesting to learn about Federal taxation from a basic theoretical framework, but is it exciting? Does it get my juices flowing? Not exactly. I think that must be what I felt yesterday. 

I'll just have to keep reading for joy, keep writing, and following where the pen leads me.

A Day in August ~ Dolphins

Ocean waters hug at my feet and legs, 

pull me into the ocean.

The waves tease–

as I edge away, I tease back, hair flowing wild with the wind. 

I stand there looking out at the vast ocean, 

lost in my thoughts that are blank and serene.

The waves crash upon the shore, run like white horses. 

I continue walking along, 

feeling my feet with each step, secured in the wet sand. 

And then, something catches my vision, out of the corner of my eye. 

A fin. Two fins. Then three!

Then I see clearly, not too far from the shore, 

a group of dolphins swimming along with the waves, 

being playful with each other. I can't take my eyes from them, 

and I think this is the first time they've been so close. 

All the other beach goers close in, cameras in hand. 

We all watch in awe as the dolphins swim on by. 

Autumn Festivals and A New Home for Petunia

Autumn brings with it many colorful festivals that I look forward to experiencing from year to year.

Over the weekend we went to an art and wine festival. Last year when we went it was rainy, but the clouds cleared by the afternoon and it was a perfect day. This year, there was no rain, and the suns rays were beaming down on my head. People spilled out of the streets filling every free space of concrete. At the section where people were buying their drink tickets, It seemed that with each step I took, I bumped into someone. Once we were out of that section, we were able to enjoy the different vender booths. I had my water in my bag, and I was munching on my "Silly Spud" potato on a stick sprinkled with parmesan and garlic, while hubby sipped on his beer. I had never had a Silly Spud before. It was a whole potato that was cut into a swirl, attached to a stick and lightly fried to a crisp, then sprinkled with a dozen choices of toppings, from sweet to savory. It was delicious and fun to eat!

As we made our way to the end of one side of the street, we saw that there was a pet adoption booth setup, so we stopped. We looked at one doggie, then as we walked around, we saw the cutest puppy, curled up, just about to take a nap. Hubby and I looked at each other at the same time and we knew–we we're thinking the same thing. 

My mother-in-law has been back and forth about wanting another dog after the passing of her dog, her long-time companion. They still have a dog, but he favors my father-in-law, so in a way it's really his dog. They have a special bond. Her birthday is coming up and I had thought that it would be nice to get her a dog as a gift, but the more thinking that goes into it, and not knowing, nothing happens...so many variables to consider. So, when we saw this precious little puppy that reminded us a little bit of her last dog and of the dog before that, whom I didn't get a chance to meet, we we're that close to adopting this rescue dog for her. We asked about the dog. They tried to rouse her awake so we could see that she was also playful. We could tell that she would be a cuddler and that was one of the things on the top of the list for my mother-in-law. 

The process was pretty straight forward. We had to fill out a form, have an interview, go over a few things, sign a contract, pay the fee, and we could take her home. We filled out the form, and said that we had just gotten to the festival, that we were going to walk around for a bit, then come back to finish the process and take the cutie home. 

I felt excited. I knew that when my mother-in-law saw this puppy, she would fall in love. And somehow in our guts, we had a feeling it would work out, including the new puppy getting along with their dog, Lucas. We didn't even hesitate for a moment that this was the right thing to do. It felt good.

I'm glad we had time to continue browsing the different vender booths, but it didn't take us long before we returned to take puppy home. I carried her in my arms, speaking to her, and telling her we were going to her new home, and that she was alright. She was a little nervous, but she didn't squirm much until the loud music scared her. I held her close, and talked to her all the way until we got to my in-laws house. She did great in the car. She's a curious girl, looking everywhere, trying to see the world. She's four months old.

When we handed puppy to my mother-in-law her face lit up. She's yours we said. She was a little bit surprised, but so very happy. Puppy's new name is Petunia, and she's a happy, happy girl. She's made herself right at home with her new mama and she get's along splendidly with Lucas. 

Morning Page - Oatmeal Bars

"Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something."

-- Ralph Marston, American writer

 

The morning has run away from me. Beautiful orange carnations stare out at me, my cup of tea is empty. I hear a dog bark and bird tweets. Last night I knew I had more studying to do. It's never really done. Just as I finish one chapter, I have to begin on the next to prepare for the next week's class. My teacher is quite responsive. I've emailed her a few times with questions. She's also organized and passionate about her subject. She even begins the class with a tax joke. 

So last night, I don't know if I was procrastinating or if baking soothes me. I'm not a baker. But when I was a little girl I did bake often and I don't know when I stopped. Now, I tend to focus on suppertime meals. Or maybe it was spurred by a new 13 by 9 inch baking pan that I bought a few weeks back that I didn't end up needing and the fact that when I had oatmeal for breakfast yesterday morning, I noticed that the oats had reached their expiration date. I didn't want to waste them, so I thought I'll make the vanishing oatmeal cookies recipe on the lid. I didn't know if I would actually go through with it since we had a full day. I saw that I had the option to make the cookies into bars by using that handy pan that I already had still with it's sticker on it. 

I did make the oatmeal bars, slightly burnt on the bottom. Next time, I may need to pre-heat the oven for less time and bake 30 minutes instead of 35. The bars were quite delicious though, but I feel so bad making them when I see how much butter and sugar is involved. I need to find healthy alternatives to baked goods.

So that's my new mission: Healthy and tasty baked goods with less butter and sugar.

Smiles

Things that made me smile today:

Being in the shower and feeling the onset of a migraine begin to subside after taking a pill.

The raindrops on my truck.

Knowing there was rain on the way to help with the fires in Tahoe, Yosemite, Weed, and other places that need Mother Nature’s help.

The fluffy clouds and the grey clouds. I saw a Scott dog in the folds of the thick white mass.

Approaching a stop light and pausing to watch a little girl and her mother walk through the crosswalk; the little girl began skipping, then her mother joined as the skipped on by.

Getting to work and saying hello to Shorty the plant through the window as I always do.

The quote of the day: “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.” –Helen Keller

Art of the day: Claude Monet’s Cabin of the Customs Watch, 1882 – Oil on canvas. A cabin nestled seaside overlooking the ocean, lovely tones of moss green, sea greens and blues, and sail boats a plenty.

At the end of my shower thinking about the old adage that laughter is the best medicine and thinking how lucky I am to get a dose every day from my husband. : )

Dropping the soap and laughing instead of cursing. 

Reading the first few pages of a miniature prayer book that I got at the Carmel Mission Inn…reminds me of my grandmother, my angel.

And the day has only begun.

More smiles to come. : )