Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts

Friday, July 15, 2016

Journal ~ Dandelions

It's ironic that I'm reading more since I've been taking classes to complete the A.A. in accounting. Better late, than never. Now that our living situation is different, after work I go to the library almost everyday to study. Usually I only take one class per quarter because it's all that I have the energy or focus for; however, I'm getting close and have decided that I will take two courses next quarter begins. Summer session is almost done and I finally get a small break before the Fall quarter. At this point, I feel like I'm doing this A.A. degree more for myself than anything. I'm viewing it as a small attempt to provide a cushion if I should find myself somewhere else, and it's also a challenge that I can afford to take-and must take.

I remember blowing on dandelions when I was a kid; I don't remember thinking of them as clocks. Today, my daily calendar has a close up photo of a bunch of dandelions with the caption, "Dandelion clocks await a child's puff of breath." Today this is really special to me because, amongst other books and audios, I'm listening to Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 and Bradbury Stories: 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales. I'm also wanting to revisit The Illustrated Man.

When I see the dandelions this morning, I see Ray Bradbury. I see Clarisse holding the dandelion up to Montag's chin. And I remember that when I was in a writer's group for a very brief moment, one of the writers told me that I should read Dandelion Wine after having read one of my snippets.

I don't have a strong tie to my own childhood and the dandelion, but after returning to Bradbury, and the dandelion that turns up in his other stories, I feel a real resonance and connection to him. So now when I see dandelions, I see him and I'm reminded of childhood-the childhood that I know he speaks about but haven't yet read in Dandelion Wine. I think of what a remarkable person that I imagine he was, and of course, a great writer and storyteller. I appreciate how open he is about sharing where the seeds of his stories began.

I knew that if I didn't come to the page, in this moment, that this moment would fly away just as the seeds of a dandelion, and that sometimes you just have to stop what you're doing and GO. To be in the moment, lest it fly away, blow into the wind.

(Originally posted today at my wordpress journal blog)

Friday, October 10, 2014

Journal ~ Blueberry Scones, the Library, and My Hawaiian Shirt



Yesterday I had an excuse to go the library. When I was searching the library database for a book, I discovered that I had two books that were overdue by a week. I usually watch for those email reminders, but I must have overlooked these. I happily pulled the books from the pile, snapping a photo of them because I wasn't done with them yet! I was happy because I would return the books, then browse the shelves after collecting a book that I was in search of and knew was on the shelves. 

After I self-checked in my overdue books, I pulled out my iPhone, and opened the email that I had sent to myself with the call number: 808.02 NAMING. I wound my way toward the back of the library, walking past tables of chattering teenagers. As I walked further and further down the narrow passages of books, I found myself at the end. I looked up and scanned the call numbers and there it was: Naming the World and other Exercises for the Creative Writer Edited by Bret Anthony Johnston. I took the book from the shelf, admired the red cover with a small image of a piece of art titled "Cockatoo and Corks," a piece of art that is interestingly strange. I love surreal art.

Instead of going back down to the front of the main library the way I came, I decided to go over one isle and I found myself in the cookbooks. I turned left and right and saw that baking was on my left, so I started there. There was one cookbook that was displayed: Krystine's Healthy Gourmet Cookbook by Krystine Crowell. I flipped through, and in the first several pages, I saw a nonfat whole-wheat blueberry scone recipe that caught my attention. I decided that I would take the book and I would make the recipe that night. All I needed was the yogurt and blueberries.

I turned to the right and eased my way down until I saw some Mexican cookbooks. I took two. I wanted to wander a bit, but as always, time slips right by me when I'm in the library. I knew that I couldn't browse for too much longer because I had to get home and wash dishes and start on dinner. But I did make a last stop to scan the new books and that's where I found The Public Library: A Photographic Essay by Robert Dawson. I flipped through and knowing that I wouldn't have time to read it now, I would have time to skim and I wanted to take my time looking at the different libraries that he included in his book. One sculpture in the book took my breath away. Titled "Psyche" it touched something deep within my own: A huge sculpture in the shape of a head, made up of roughly fifteen hundred small sculptures of books and butterflies, suspended in air.

That was my last book, I went to the self-check machine to check out the handful of books that should have only been the one that I came for. The machine beeped at me and said my card was about to expire and that I needed to go to the circulation desk. I took my books and walked up to the standing desk. The librarian asked how she could help me and I explained. She just needed my identification and my library card would be renewed for another three years. She looked up, as she was typing into her computer and said, "Your shirt is making me want to be in Hawaii." I looked down at my deep blue Hawaiian shirt with large white flower blossoms. I looked up and smiled.

"Oh, your a Cancer she said," looking down at my identification. "I'm a Cancer too. My birthday is on the 20th. I see your on the cusp.

"Yes, I'm right on the very end, but I am a Cancer."

It was refreshing to have someone actually bring up their own astrological sign, someone who was older, and relate to me. So many times, I've done the same.

"Have you been to Hawaii before?"

I thought about this because I knew I had, but it was so long ago I had to remember one island or two. "Yes."

"Which islands?"

And so, we continued our brief conversation, two friendly Cancers, as she processed my library card renewal. She told me how she was married in Kauai and what a beautiful island it is. I mentioned how I had heard many good things about it, but that's one of the islands I had not been to.

We finished up and instead of going to the self-check machine, I had the librarian check my books out. She was such a kindred spirit, a nice change from dealing with machines and others that are too busy or who aren't' as friendly.

And this friendly exchange was all thanks to my expiring library card and my Hawaiian shirt.

After dinner, I told hubby that my plan was to bake, then study. He looked at me and said you should study first. I said, "I need to bake first because it relaxes me! Then I'll study." 

I did make the blueberry scones first and they were different. They looked pleasing. They lacked a little flavor, especially after coming after oatmeal chocolate chip cookie bars. With a little dab of butter, I think they'll be perfect. 





"Untitled (Cockatoo and Corks)"
http://www.wikiart.org/en/joseph-cornell/untitled-cockatoo-and-corks-1948

"Psyche" - Sculpture at the Main Library, Salt Lake City, Utah
http://culturenow.org/entry&permalink=19914&seo=Psyche_Ralph-Helmick-and-Stuart-Schechter

Blueberry Scone Recipe
http://recipecircus.com/recipes/Buny/Scones/Nonfat_Whole_Wheat_Blueberry_Scones.html

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Writing and Books: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner



On Sunday I had a patch of time to myself, about an hour and a half before hubby returned from his errand, and we went out and about together. I could have studied, could have read, cleaned. Instead, I felt a pull to the garage to organize boxes of books. There were many empty boxes that were scattered, that made it look as though there was more clutter than there actually was. 

I started breaking down the empty boxes, then I began looking through the boxes of books, tying again to find more books to let go of. I was able to find two small boxes full of books that I felt it was time to part with, books that I knew I wasn't going to read, that had a time and place in my life, and I would only keep transporting them from home to home, possibly not giving them a proper home for themselves, confining my dear books to these lifeless boxes. It was time for these books to find new homes. 

I was also able to consolidate some books to other boxes, marking them so that I would easily be able to find what I was looking for if the urge arose. Also, to hubby's dismay, because I would only be brining more clutter into the house, I brought two boxes of books inside. I put them in the living room and waiting for him to scold me. I told him I would find a place for them. The living room was off limits. I know how I can be, so the next morning I unpacked the boxes, stacked the books on my side of the bed to deal with later that day. I don't have any more shelf space, so I added to the stack in the corner on top of the small desk that I don't' actually use, and the rest are stacked in front of that stack. I really didn't bring all that many books back into the house. I don't like packing the boxes too heavy. In fact, I've let go of a lot of books. It's bitter sweet; at the same time it feels good to let go of these books that have been there for me, that have brought me joy–even the books that I never got around to reading all the way through. Now, they can bring someone else happiness when they're browsing the shelves of the local thrift store.  

Each time I'm ready, I will continue looking through my boxes of books, tying to let go of more. Eventually, I will be left with only a few that I cannot part with–at least, not until I'm ready.

Yesterday before work, I went to the top section of a long shelf that shares books with clothes. It's where I keep some of my inspirational writing books. I pulled from the shelf: One Continuous Mistake: Four Noble Truths for Writers by Gail Sher. Then I went to the bottom section of the shelf where I keep the few books I have on poetry. I pulled Mary Oliver's New and Selected Poems: Volume One. With these in hand, I read a few pages from each to start my day. I love how Gail Sher describes writing. She says, "Writing is infinite, ever elusive, and ungraspable. We can never know what writing is. We can only know our experience minute to minute, as we write" (pg. 6). I nodded my head with a big smile as I read over her words again. She sums it up perfectly, and that's one of the many reasons I love writing for the constant discovery that writing offers, as long as we keep our pens moving and our minds free.

I've only dipped sparingly into Mary Oliver's poetry. I've had her book for several years, but as with certain books, I go at them at different paces. I'm ready to visit longer. What little of her poetry I have read, it is so incredibly beautiful and touches my soul.

During a break at work I wrote and posted "Small Slice of Solace." 

Writing and books are often on my mind throughout the day, sometimes they slip away, but yesterday, it seemed there was a constant stream.

After work, I was ready to visit Barnes & Noble and use my gift card that I've been hanging on to for the right moment. I was pretty confident that I would be walking out of there with a cookbook, but I didn't even feel pulled to that section. I almost purchased a small light that is supposed to create calm. Where I really wanted to go was to the writing section. There's just something about writing books that I adore. I love hearing inspirational stories and words of wisdom from writing books. I wasn't looking for any one book. I sat on the floor and started looking through the possibilities. I saw a book that I had checked out of the library that I never finished  before returning it: Several Short Sentences about Writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg. I remember it being a fun book with a unique approach and it really is as the title suggests. Next I saw a book that I hadn't seen before or maybe I had and wasn't interested at the time: Around the Writer's Block: Using Brain Science to Solve Writer's Resistance*

*Including Writer's Block, Procrastination, Paralysis, Perfectionism, Postponing, Distractions, Self-Sabotage, Excessive Criticism, Overscheduling, and Endlessly Delaying Your Writing

by Rosanne Bane.

Now how could I resist a title like that!

I think I'm really going to like this one. I've only just begun and I feel ignited.

And so, these were the two books that I chose.

Yesterday was a full course of reading, writing, books, and nature. I felt refreshed, inspired, rejuvenated.  

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Visiting with Goldberg, Kindle Unlimited, and a Few Books

I'm being drawn back to Natalie Goldberg's books on writing. It's like visiting with an old friend. Uplifting and inspiring. 

Yesterday was a good day. I felt that I had a lot of energy and I was especially chatty at work and had so much spinning around in my mind. I kept going back to my co-worker's office to let him know just one more thing...usually it pertained to work in some roundabout way. From our last team meeting, we learned through a sharing that our boss used to eat up Ian Fleming's books when he was in fifth grade. He was devouring them so quickly and steadily that his mother became concerned and asked the teacher to see if she could get her son to add something else to his reading mix. I've only seen the movies, but now I'm curious to read something, anything by Ian Fleming, so through Kindle Unlimited, which I've given a try for 30 days, I'm going begin reading one of his books. The book I chose is Thrilling Cities, which is a travelogue covering 13 cities that he visited between 1959-1960. It began as a series or articles and then turned into a book.

Kindle Unlimited. $9.99 each month. 10 books at a time. First time users get a 30 day free trial to read or peek through 10 books at a time. The Kindle Unlimited library is supposed to have over 500,000 books to choose from. I like going page by page and I couldn't possibly keep clicking through that many pages, so I clicked as far as I could, noticing that many of the titles are parts of series and romance novels, neither of which I like reading. I also don't particularly enjoy mysteries, unless books are involved. 

The interesting thing is that most of the books that I would want to read are also available as e-books in the public library system. My problem is that I get impatient waiting for popular or new titles that have long waiting lists. What made me finally decide to give Kindle Unlimited a try was that they had The Storied Life of A. J. Fickry available. I had been waiting to check it out from the library for weeks. I had nothing to lose. 30 days for free and I would get to finally read this book. I downloaded it and finished it in a couple of days. It turned out to be such a satisfying read. I must admit that after a particular scene, I wasn't sure if I was believing it, but I kept going and went with it. I'm so glad I did. It was really a heartwarming book about love, life, second chances, and of course the power of story and books.

One great thing about Kindle Unlimited for me is that it has gotten me to read a couple of books that I might not have. I had been curious about Water for Elephants when it came out, but I didn't have it high on my radar. Scanning through the popular titles on KU, I saw it there and gave it a try, all the while in my head I'm thinking it's free. 30 days. See what you can find. I had vaguely recalled reading the first few pages some time ago and felt pulled in, but not ready to commit. When I started reading it this time, I was in for a great surprise. I had no idea that I would enjoy the book as much as I did. The storytelling, the characters, the tension. The circus completely came alive for me and the interesting historical background and tidbits rounded out the story. I felt that I wanted to be there, but I didn't need to go, because through this book, I was there. 

I also read Without Reservations by Anthony Bourdain. I didn't plan on ever reading his book because, although I enjoyed his culinary adventures on the travel channel, I didn't know if I could handle his cockiness on the page. I loved it. It was yet another glimpse into the the world of being a chef and he laid it all out there. I have begun reading his follow up that he wrote 10 years after this one: Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People who Cook.
And because of his book, it led me to George Orwell's Down and Out in Paris and London. And it's available as part of Kindle Unlimited! 

I have several other Kindle Unlimited books that I'm dipping in and out of. Each time I find another title, if I already have 10, I have to return one. 

My 30-day free trial has expired and for now I've decided to pay the $9.99 because I have 10 books downloaded and I like the ease of being able to read them without worrying about a time limit, and also because I don't necessarily want to own the e-books. At some point, I'll cancel my subscription. For now, I'm enjoying the convenience, and hope to find a less cumbersome way of exploring the library.

And of course, a few of Natalie Goldberg's books are part of the Unlimited library, so instead of fishing my books out of the boxes in my garage, they are part of my 10.

Love this quote from an accounting e-newsletter:

"I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door, or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present."

--Rabindranath Tagore, Indian writer

**

One never knows where they will find gems. : )

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Books: January - July

I haven't posted an update on what I'm reading lately. I was just going to include the last two month's, but then I thought I may as well post what I've recorded and finished to date, since it's not that many. I get so excited about books, and I love seeing and hearing what others are reading too.

There were a lot of books that I started and didn't finish, that I hope to come back to at some point. I've only listed the books that I actually completed and remembered to record.

JANUARY
Illuminations: A Novel of Hildegard Von Bingen - Mary Sharratt
-I rang in the New Year reading this book. I was captivated by this story based on the life of the mystic and saint, Hildegard Von Bingen. I had no idea going into this book how much it would take a hold on me and how invested I would become with the characters.

7/29/14 - I listen to the classical radio station everyday at work and when I hear a piece that really speaks to me, I write it down. I heard an angelic song coming through my speakers, and when I clicked to see who the composer was, it was Hildegard Von Bingen. It was the first time I've heard her music. Listening to her gave me goosebumps.

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
-There are numerous classics on my list. I can't believe it took me so long to read this one. I loved every minute of it. 

Read this! Hand picked favorites from America's indie bookstores - Hans Weyandt, Editor
-How could I resist this one!

Voltaire's Calligrapher - Pablo De Santis
-This was an interestingly strange sort of mystery.

Thousand Cranes - Yasunari Kawabata
-This was a beautifully told story centering around a tea ceremony and the subtleties of human nature. Beautiful and sad. It made my heart ache.

FEBRUARY
Kokoro - Natsume Soseki
-I can imagine how this story about a young man who befriends an older man that he calls Sensei may not be for everyone. The story made me contemplate how it must have felt being Sensei and all that he had to keep secret from his wife and how he couldn't live a full and true life. When I came to the last page, the last words, I felt a deep sadness.

The City of your Final Destination - Peter Cameron
-I think I came across this book from one of the books on books. I was pleasantly surprised. It's a book about love, through and through.

MARCH
Yes, Chef: A Memoir - Marcus Samuelsson
-I like watching Chef Samuelsson on the food show, Chopped. This book was featured on my book a day calendar–I couldn't resist. It gave me a peek into his life and what it's like trying to make it as a chef. This was a treat to read and gave me a more rounded perspective of just who Chef Samuelsson is and where he came from.

The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
-What a wonderful piece of literature. I actually started this in the spring of 2013 and finished it this year. I sped through the first half and for some reason set it aside until March of this year. This is a book that I will reread in the future.

APRIL
James and the Giant Peach - Roald Dahl
-I missed Dahl in my childhood, so I have some catching up to do. Delightful, of course!

MAY
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

The Chaperone - Laura Moriarty
-I was whisked into the story of Louise Brooks and her chaperone, Cora. The story and characters came alive for me, and there was a surprise that caught me off guard; it  made the story that much more interesting. 

Philosophy Made Simple: a Novel - Robert Hellenga
-I mostly enjoyed this novel, but had mixed feelings. I had favorite parts.

The Cats Table - Michael Ondaatje
-A story about a group of boys that form a friendship on a ship bound for England. I felt as though I was along during this adventurous ride across the ocean. Beautiful writing. 

Supermarket - Satoshi Azuchi
-I remember being in the library searching through the A's to see if any titles caught my attention. This was one of them. Who knew that I would be so enthralled by a work of fiction about the workings of a Japanese supermarket, but I was. The characters drew me in, as well as the internal struggles, and the relationships.

JUNE
Mr. Penumbra's 24-hour Bookstore - Robin Sloan
-What a fun adventure this was!

Terms and Conditions - Robert Glancy
-This is a witty novel with plenty of black humor. It fit my mood when I found it. I finished it in one sitting and found myself laughing a lot and thinking how clever this book was. I loved it!

The Apartment - Greg Baxter
-There isn't much that goes on: A nameless man and a woman he met search for an apartment. I was drawn into the language and the bits of insight throughout. As I neared the end, I felt the story sneaking up on me. I appreciated the subtlety of this short novel.

Dying Words - K. Patrick Conner
-I don't remember where I first learned of this book, but it's been in my Kindle as a sample for a while now. Graydon Hubbell, somewhat of a curmudgeon, is an obituary writer at the San Francisco Chronicle. He finds out that he has cancer, but wants to work for as long as he can. A touching novel with a good amount of humor to balance it out.   

JULY
Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Muralami
-I wasn't sure if I was going to like Kafka on the Shore, so it was a great surprise and absolute treat when the story hooked me. I thoroughly enjoyed the parallel stories and how they came together. This was a magical book that had a little bit of everything.

The Writer's Afterlife: A Novel - Richard Vetere
-An entertaining story that writers will especially appreciate.


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Yesterday: In the Bookstore, and the Book that Found me

                                   

Yesterday, at the end of my workday, I wasn't ready to go home yet. I had been meaning to go to Barnes and Noble and browse around, so that's where I headed. I miss the independent bookstores that have closed one by one. And one day, I imagine, we will only have the option of buying books online. 

Once inside the bookstore, I took a look at the new books; many I have seen at online review sites or heard mention of. I wasn't feeling especially pulled by any. I wandered over to where the notecards, notebooks, and art supplies are kept, just past the business section and the bargain books. I skipped the business section and went to the bargain shelves and tables. I saw a visual book that teaches you how to learn the keys of the piano. I thumbed through it, slightly wishing that I knew how to read music, to understand and enter music at its language gate. 

I saw another book on introversion that caught my fancy. There was a Baudelaire quote inside that I saw when I flipped through the pages–it spoke to me. I took a photo of the book, so that I can see if the library has a copy. My favorite place to get books these days is the library and second hand stores. I have a stack checked out right now and recently took back a few stacks. They come home with me, and of course, they don't all get my attention, but they are what I'm interested in at that moment that I bring them home; some hold my attention all the way until the end, while others serve as inspiration in the small spurts of time I'm able to give them. It seems the library books are the ones that get read all the way through; my own books stay in their shelves or stacks looking back at me, patient, waiting for me to pull them out. They have a home, and I would say it's permanent, but that would be a lie–nothing is permanent–an ancient truism, one that I try to remember.

While I was down in this section, my eyes were drawn to the "Buddha Board Mini" sitting on the shelf. I picked it up and saw that it was a small drawing board. You use only the brush, the board, and water to create your image and then poof, it disappears after some time. It actually evaporates. On the box it says: "Master the art of letting go." Another reinforcement of the impermanence of life. I kept turning it in my hands, wanting to buy it; instead, I made a note. Maybe later.

Part of me only wanted to browse. I wanted to refrain from buying anything; and I always feel guilty when I buy new books and "stuff".  

I looked at my watch. I had just a little more time to browse before I should leave, pick up dinner, and head home.

Upstairs, there was more new fiction and the rest of the fiction. I browsed. I was starting to feel like I wasn't going to find anything that I wanted. I don't know if I was looking for something in particular or just trying to relax, allowing my mind to lose itself. I don't know what I was expecting. Was I expecting something? I wasn't feeling energized. I was beginning to feel tired. I was only in the B's. I saw a book that I jotted down for later, then I went to see if there were any astrology books I might not have. There were only a handful, nothing new or interesting to feed whatever mood led me around the store, as if searching for something, yet not searching for anything at all. Since I was in the spirituality section, I quickly scanned the other titles. I saw the Four Agreements, which I have stowed away in a box somewhere. I might have to dig it up. Then I saw a book of meditations by Don Miguel Ruiz's son. I noted the book in my notebook.

I made my way back toward the escalator, but stopped quickly at a shelf with a reference book that stood out to me for its size and title. Noted.

Down I went, back on the main floor I was about to exit, when I went over to where I thought the writing section was. I didn't see it; instead, I was standing in front of the self-help section. I did a wide scan with my eyes, not really feeling in the mood for a self-help book. My eyes were drawn to a book that was facing forward, like someone had pulled it from the shelf and not put it back, leaving it there to be seen. I looked away, continued scanning, then I looked back and picked up the book. The cover was black, a photo of two small red flowers at the bottom right corner growing out toward wet stones. I felt calm looking at that cover. "Wabi sabi" written in white lettering somewhat in the middle of the page. The words were familiar in an unfamiliar way. Where have I heard or seen those words before, or have I? 

The full title: Wabi sabi: Timeless Wisdom for a Stress-Free Life. I flip this beautiful book open, read the inside flaps, and learn about the author. I'm intrigued. In reading her forward and looking through the book, it seems this is her meditation on her experience and practice with the concept of Wabi sabi, a Japanese concept.

While I was flipping through the book, I landed on a quote by Robert Frost at the top of page 31: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."  I smiled, my internal voice agreeing, 'yes, that's right. So simple, and yet...'

As silly as it may sound, I think the quote sealed it for me. It made me take that book and keep flipping through it and re-reading the table of contents–my curiosity, the beauty of the book itself, and my love of wisdom...it was the book that found me that day.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

One Slender Book

I heard my name through the intercom. I left the bookshelf and walked to the back counter to see what the offer was. I wasn't expecting much, maybe three dollars for three small bags of books. I set my expectations low, knowing anything more would be a bonus. 

Twenty-two dollars–not bad.

I saw my stacks of books there. I felt a slight pang and wanted to reach for them and take them back. No, I reasoned, it was time to let them go. And there would be more in due time because there are books for keeping and books for giving up. The buyer looked at the one nearest me.

"Did you read this one?"

I placed my hand on top of the slender book.

"This one? Yes–in parts. I probably didn't give it the attention it deserved."

Where did this come from. I had read it, but it was so long ago. 

"It reminds me of–" He rattled off a few unknown names, more independents. She wanted to reach for her notebook, so she could jot them down and look them up later. Instead, she nodded, listened, saw the excitement in his face.

He turned back to his register to complete the transaction.

"I really like the cover art," she said.

"Yeah. It's beautiful. Reminds me of a friend's book. He was in an MFA program and this cover reminds me of one of his."

"Ah, I actually found this one at the Berkeley Museum of Art's bookstore. They had a small section of books that were on sale. 

"Oh, yeah–really?"

I signed my name and took the receipt to the middle of the store and cashed in on the books I sold.

Those hummingbirds–that book–that I did read: one poem contained within its slender, white casing–a rumination that I read so long ago remembering the beautiful jacket cover more than the words inside; though, from flipping through the first few pages, just before saying goodbye, just before placing it inside the bag, just before placing it back out into the world–the words were ethereal, they beat like the wings of a butterfly and shimmered like the coat of a hummingbird, now out of my hands, but in memory–as a bitter sweet parting.
 

Friday, November 22, 2013

Tonight ~ A Few Books

I've been recording my thoughts in bits and scraps, collecting a reel of moments as best I can.

My reading diet since August has mostly consisted of accounting and business. The end of classes are in sight, and I must say, it can't come soon enough. I've hardly read a work of fiction, except for blogs, since July. But, alas, yesterday marked the day I finished a novel that I started in September. It has taken me that long because I didn't want to deviate from school work. I've also dipped into a few other books, but not as many or as long as I'd like. 

The novel I finished is called The Ice Chorus by Sarah Stonich. I found this one while I was searching the library shelves one day back in September. Something about the dabs of orange and red watercolor squares on the book's spine caught my attention. After reading the inside flap, I had a good idea what the story would be about. In short: a happy marriage that leads to an affair and a woman finding herself. But there's so much more, so many details and stories. I was drawn to the story in part because it involved an artist and alternates between Mexico and Ireland. We are guided along on this woman's journey, learning how her story begins and the internal struggles she goes through along the way.  I grew to care about the characters, especially in Ireland. It's a story I will remember and will revisit in my mind, and the writing was gorgeous.

I also picked two non-fiction books from the library's shelves: 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot by Richard Wiseman; and Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become by Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D. What little I've read so far of 59 Seconds has been inspirational. This seems like a gem of a book, packed with information, that can be read in small spurts. I've only read a few pages of Love 2.0. I'm thoroughly intrigued. There are quotes that head each chapter and this one is speaking to me tonight from the chapter titled "Loving Kindness": 

"Love Doesn't just sit there, like a stone;
it has to be made, like bread;
remade all the time, made new." 

–Ursula K. Le Guin

**
I've sufficiently deviated tonight, catching up on blogs and such. I'm tired, yet I keep staring at the page, knowing there is more, yet unable to spit it out at this time– I stare at the white space, feeling the heaviness in my eyes, and the heaviness from looking at a computer screen for too long, neck stooped over. The blank page has a way of casting a spell; and now, I must break that spell–

Monday, March 25, 2013

One Way we Know

When I read with S, the first grade student that I read with, we finished a story about an egg that a boy found and watched hatch. "What does hatching mean?" he asked.

I turned back to when the duckling first began to crack out of his egg and said, "well, see here, it means the duckling is breaking out of his egg. He's ready to come out into the world."

"Where's the mama duck?"

"This little story only gives us a part of the story. The mama must have gone away and left the one egg there to hatch."

"How do you know the mama duck left the egg. Could it have been the dad that left it? How can you tell if animals are mamas or papas?

"Well..." I started to smile, looking at S's animated face, full of energy, curiosity, and wonder, standing at this point, but still at my eye level while I was seated.

"Maybe you should ask your parents."

"We have two dogs. I asked about them."

"What did they say?"

"They said that they chose."

"Ah, so that's what they said. So they didn't exactly answer..."

I was trying to keep it together, but I reverted back to what happens in uncomfortable situations, where I know how I can tell the difference between a boy dog and a girl dog, but I can't say it to this first grader, so I start laughing, but I can tell he's not taking it personally or badly. And luckily he didn't think it too strange that I burst out laughing.

When I had gotten the nervous laughter out of my system, he said, "No, really, how do you know?"

"You know what? This is a very good question, S. And I'm going to try to find a book that helps explain and shows us how we know."

"That would be cool! Yeah, if you can bring a book next time, but you don't have to. But if you find one..."

**

Our reading time came to a close and I walked S back to class. On the way to work, driving down the road, past some apartments, I saw a female turkey with her feathers spread out in a full fan. She stood still, trying to get the attention of two male turkeys that were at the edge of the grass. Who knows how long she would be waiting.

**

When I got back to the office, I wrote a quick email to the public librarian asking for any books that may discuss the differences in female and male animals, differences that relate to their plumage or other such characteristics, something appropriate for a first grader. I appreciated their frantic search; they weren't able to find exactly what I was looking for, but did point me in the right direction.

In the meantime, I did a quick google search for a few animals that I know have visible differences: mallards ducks, lions, deer,–and sometimes, with certain animals, you really can't tell. So that's all I have for now and we can ask the school librarian, but I didn't have time last week.

For now, hopefully, he'll be satisfied with what I've got when I see him next, which is not much. At least I can provide him with some pictures of ducks, deer, and lion, that show one way we know.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Books, a Quote, and the Moon

"Be yourself, everyone else is taken."
–Oscar Wilde

Yesterday was a long work day, but it was a productive day. Busy season is upon us and I have a feeling that this year is going to feel more crammed than the last.

Energy zipped through me last night. I went to bed a little after midnight, which isn't the norm for me. Then I woke up for some reason at around 4:30 a.m. Whenever I wake at these early morning hours, I take the opportunity to put my glasses on and peer out the window at the moon.

Last night the picture outside my window was a half moon surrounded by stars as billowy clouds streamed by. All I could think of was that this was the image of a soothing lullaby. I stayed there propped up at the windowsill for a few moments taking in the moment, then I tucked back into bed and went back to sleep.

I've tried to stop buying books. This Sunday, though, I browsed the bookshelves of a second hand store wondering what I'd find. I've purposely avoided this section on recent visits, but on Sunday I splurged. I allowed myself to look a little longer and found a handful of books to buy and here they are:

-Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert.

I saw the movie a year or so ago and decided then that I'd like to try the book. I usually wait until the hype goes down for certain things. A month back I tried a Kindle sample and I knew it would be a book that I wanted to read, just not on Kindle.

-All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things by Robert Fulghum. I'm surprised I don't own a copy or that I haven't read it yet. I did read his collection of writings by other authors that inspired him called Words I Wish I Wrote. I enjoyed this one a lot.

-Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. I have a vague recollection of seeing this book around. Flipping through it, I knew it would be a gem to add to my shelves.

-Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy through Jokes by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein. I always wanted to pick this book up when I heard about it, but then I forgot about it; I must not have wanted it that bad. When I saw it this time, I knew I had to get it. I flipped open to a random page and was immediately laughing. Laughter and philosophy–what a great combination!

-Ed Emberley's Great Thumbprint Drawing Book. Well, I've seen this cute children's drawing book somewhere, maybe a library. I had to have it. The thumbprint drawings are adorable and it takes you step by step. It speaks to the kid and little artist in me.

-The Touchstone by Edith Wharton. I've never read any of her novels. This is a short one. The descriptions on the back intrigued me, so I had to get it.

I felt like it was my lucky book day, finding so many gems.

I also had some books waiting for me at the library, mostly children's picture books, and one book related to astrology and the moon. I don't think I'll have time to read all of the moon book, but I'm hoping I have time to sit with it for a little while.

The highlight of my Sunday, besides the books, was browsing in a combination vintage art shop this weekend where I saw a canvas that someone had painted the Oscar Wilde quote in white block letters. Well, my significant other actually saw it first and pointed it out to me because he knew I'd like it. I did; I decided to do a similar one using the Doodle Buddy App, so that's today's picture.

Love those words: "Be Yourself..." Yes!

Happy writing and creating & happy Tuesday!


Friday, February 1, 2013

Books Stare Back

Books stare back at me from the shelves. A part of me wants to go through and donate the ones that I may not read and others that I have already read. They seem to sit there, collecting time, wanting more attention than they currently receive. Books that have a history in my life, reminders of bookstores that no longer exist––I'm afraid to let go.

There is no logical reason to let go of many of these books. They have a place on the shelf, but there are others that lay in the dark closet, out of view, because there is no room for them on the shelves meant for books. Part of me wants to keep these physical books because I fear that one day, they will become extinct and for many of these books, I may want to revisit or simply take one from the shelf and feel it in my hands, smell its pages, randomly open to any old place and start reading.

There may be one or two books I can part with, but then what's the point of that. The bookshelves have become cluttered and the books in turn clutter my mind.

Perhaps what I really need to do is sit down and go through, shelf by shelf, book by book, and revisit each and every one of these old friends.

**

After moving a crooked stack of books blocking other books, I saw Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. A quote that begins the first chapter speaks to me today as I'm trying to carve a new road...

"Every moment of your life is infinitely creative
and the universe is endlessly bountiful.
Just put forth a clear enough request,
and everything your heart desires must come to you."

–Shakti Gawain

Peace and Love~

Rebb

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Little Drops of Dew: A dream, books, calendars

Today feels like a good day.

I had strange dreams last night and the only remnant of one that stands out is of a giant squid body of some sort. I remember squatting in the dirt separating white and black noodles for dinner. They were very thin and the black noodles were actually worms and I didn't like touching them. I needed to separate them, so that I could prepare the white noodles for dinner. We were somewhere far away and had nearly escaped. I was about to dispose of the huge bulbous body when someone said, "stop! that's the best part. Look inside, you'll see thousands and thousands of rice kernels." I lifted the skirt of this squid-like mass and saw that indeed there were kernels that looked like miniature puffed wheat that could feed the masses. They looked lovely hidden beneath the purplish body of this interesting creature that seemed illuminated inside. It felt warm and protected.

Each year I go to Barnes & Noble and select a few daily calendars at 50% off. I like having at least three because I have trouble settling on just one. Two are the same from last year: The Book Lover's Calendar and The Argyle Sweater, which has proved to be quite funny. The third is a word calendar of archaic words. The print is so tiny I struggle to read the entries. I had spotted a Dot-to-Dot calendar that day, but decided against it. After stumbling upon some directly unrelated websites on learning and creativity, I decided to go back and get the Dot-to-Dot for home. I vaguely remember doing these as a child. I would like to improve my drawing and way of interpreting shapes and that's how I decided to get this calendar. I've found it to be quite relaxing. It has become my evening ritual. I try to guess what the image might be and then I begin connecting the dots. And Voila, a surprising image will appear. Yesterday was a pair of sunglasses and at the suggestion of my significant other, I drew in bloodshot eyeballs, a nose, and a mouth with teeth and tongue hanging out. It looks funny. I like it.

I've resisted for months on purchasing a wireless Apple keyboard. The time came about a week ago, and it's great. The iPad is fast becoming my main computer. It's more convenient and I don't have to strain my wrist with a mouse or a laptop touchpad for every move I make, and I much prefer the way the keys feel under my fingers with the wireless keyboard. My laptop was becoming sluggish, and because I don't use a desk or table these days to write, it became awkward to hold it in my lap when I type.

I'm having trouble deciding which fiction book to read next. I have so many unread books on my shelves and Kindle and I couldn't find one that truly grabbed me. I did begin one story that was a freebie on Amazon for Kindle: Awake in the Mad World by Damon Farrell Marbut. I haven't formed an opinion on it yet. It has some good moments in dialogue and seems to flow alright. I want to keep at it, give it a chance, though I did almost give up.

The last book of December that I finished that I thoroughly enjoyed was The Dog that Talked to God by Jim Kraus. This is such a sweet story. I happened to get it for free thanks to the Kindle blog that I follow. The Kindle price is currently $8.54. Anyway, this was a sweet, heartfelt story about a widowed woman and a dog that comes into her life and how the two forge together to find a new life. I love coming across books that I might normally not find. This one left me feeling uplifted and satisfied.

I think it's time for me to browse the library's bookshelves--to find my next reading adventure.

In preparation for my upcoming class and because I've become more and more curious about the topic, I found a book on Amazon that I've begun: Theories of Childhood: An Introduction to Dewey, Montessori, Erikson, Piaget, and Vygotsky.

There are also a handful of books that I've downloaded samples for and a book or two on hold from the library related to this area.

This morning I felt the need to pull The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life by Julia Cameron. It's a book that I've read slowly over the years and that I look to for inspiration. I actually followed through on today's exercise--or rather, the exercise I landed on for the day. It was to write down 25 wishes, big or small. I did so in my personal journal. This was the perfect exercise for today--just what I needed! Cameron suggests that we do this exercise once a month or when we are feeling scattered. I have definitely been feeling scattered and this exercise gave me a gentle nudge. I even began a short story that's been tugging at me for weeks and maybe even months.

Tuesday's seem to be good days.

Happy writing and creating!




Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Morning Pages: Concert, Little A’s Third B-Day, Some Books

A good numbers day today: One eleven nested between two twelve’s and tomorrow will be a great numbers day: 12/12/12. Beautiful!

We had a fun time at the Ozomatli concert this past weekend. It was a busy day of errands and then the night brought great music and dancing. It was crowded and the floor vibrated. Most of the audience was somewhere in their twenties to forties, but there was one Latin couple that caught our eyes. They must have been in their 60s and boy could they dance. The man had the rhythm in his bones and his hips and body moved all night. His wife was a bit more reserved, like me, but she couldn’t help but let the music pull her into motion. They weren’t dancing as a couple, as most everyone moved to the rhythms on their own, with the exception of one young man in front of me who danced with a few ladies. A good vibe the whole night, and I was up way past my bedtime and had a few more drinks than usual, which was still not much.

The following morning we went over to help my significant other’s cousin and her husband help prepare for his godson, Little A’s, (my writing nickname for him) third birthday party. It was a Mickey Mouse themed party, so we helped with decorations: cutting Mickey ears for pin the ear on Mickey and other creative decorations that his cousin had planned. Everything turned out really nice. Her husband cooked yummy treats at the barbeque. While I was working on wrapping red and black plastic silverware in cute red napkins with white dots, I was also playing with Little A. He also wanted to help, so I found ways that he could assist me, whether it was taking the ribbon I had cut and placing it on the table or unraveling the ribbon. We had to keep him preoccupied while his parent’s worked on decorating his downstairs playroom without him seeing it.

He wanted to go in there, but then he settled into the family room with me, until he decided that he needed tools. I heard him asking his parents if he could go downstairs to get his tools. They told him now was not a good time and I could hear that he started getting frustrated and his father had told me about an hour back that Little A. was responsive to me, so I instinctively went in the kitchen with a plastic fork and knife in hand and said, “Little A., I think we can use these as tools, look, I think these will work,” and I started to walk toward the other room, while his parents said, “That’s a good idea.” And Little A. seemed to think so too, so we were back to working on decorations and “playing.”

Time went by really fast and we needed every minute of the four hours it took for everyone to get everything in order before the guests would arrive. When Little A. saw his playroom, he was so excited that he let out a scream and was jumping up and down. Mickey Mouse images were everywhere and balloons and presents—all nicely laid out and organized.

In late November I finished the last of the Harry Potter books. I had stopped at a certain point in the last book. I cried at what Harry learned in his final view into the Pensieve and the question that loomed in my mind about this particular professor and the greater truth was answered. I didn’t want the story to end, so after I cried, I set the book aside for several days and possibly a week, not ready for the end. I could have easily continued reading, but all good things must come to an end and so it did and now I am happy to have taken that journey, one that I may not have, but for something pulled me in that direction in this year of 2012 in the month of November.

Because of my experience with the Harry Potter books, I knew that my next book(s) would have to be special, to hold some meaning for me even before embarking on their page’s journey. So that brought me to my favorite author, Hermann Hesse. I have begun The Glass Bead Game several times over the long years. I was not ready each of those times. Now, though, I felt more ready than ever and so I began from the beginning again and I’m almost finished. I actually did finish the story itself and am now reading the last part within this fictional biography, the fictional posthumous writings of Joseph Knecht. It’s a story that I am still contemplating. It’s deep and beautiful and I relate in so many ways as far as the questions, self-discovery, inner/outer knowledge, sense of freedom, and inability to name the nameless.

I also restarted a biography of Hermann Hesse, but have put that aside for the time being. I had also been reading Dante Alighieri’s The Inferno over the years, which I finally finished and am ready to move onto The Purgatorio. What brought me back to Dante is a book that popped into my memory that I had learned about from a schoolmate at least six or seven years ago. The book is called Dante’s Path: A Practical Approach to Achieving Inner Wisdom by Bonney Gulino Schaub, R.N. and Richard Schaub, Ph.D. I’m about halfway through this book and appreciate how the authors shed light on Dante’s works from a practical healing perspective. I am enjoying and benefiting from this book.

I tuned into a lecture series on the iTunesU about death. The course explores death from a philosophical perspective. I listened to the introductory lecture and found the instructor to be quite entertaining. I tried to listen to the second lecture one evening in bed—bad idea. Not only did I fall asleep, but also I was in an awkward position and made a strange breathing noise as thought I was chocking that made my significant other come in and ask if I was alright. I heard the noise I made and it had actually woken me. I looked up and the lecture had stopped. I haven’t listened since, but hope that I can find a pocket of time to tune in because I have always had a fascination with death and was happy to see a course on it—from a purely philosophical perspective.

Along the lines of death…I have also come back to José Saramago’s  Death with Interruptions. I picked it up at the library about a year ago or maybe it wasn’t even that long. In any case, I didn’t get a chance to finish it at the time, and the premise caught my imagination: What exactly would happen if everyone stopped dying one day? This is my first José Saramago book and I don’t know if his writing style is the same with regard to punctuation in this book as in his others, but I’ve had to just move ahead and not worry about the fact that there are no quotation marks for dialogue; that there are many many commas and not enough periods for my taste; and I don’t think I’ve spied any semicolons. I’ve found that I have to flow through the words in a way that I’m not used to when reading a novel.

A book that I started several weeks ago, before I started reading the Harry Potters, is The Writing Class: A Novel by Jincy Willet. I thought it sounded fun and it was, but I couldn’t get back into it after HP. It’s a murder mystery. I did enjoy it while I was reading it, so I hope to finish it, since I’m so close.

Another fun book that I found on the new shelves of the library is The Seven Spiritual Laws of Superheroes: Harnessing Our Power to Change the World by Deepak Chopra with Gotham Chopra. I need to get back to this one. It’s always interesting to hear what Chopra is up to in his books.

And so, I am back to dipping in and out of books, and at the same time trying to find one larger work that will hold my attention and pull me through, while also finding others and others finding me, as usual.

I hope that today is a Tasty Tuesday and I do mean that both literally and figuratively.
 

Friday, October 19, 2012

Happy Girl


I’ve been having so much fun this early morning before the workday begins. I read a few Children’s picture books that I will post to my blog in the coming days.

My desire to draw has cropped up over the past several weeks and I’ve doodled a few abstract finger drawings to accompany a few of my blogs. Yesterday I was looking through one of the books I checked out at the library called Drawing Lab for Mixed-Media Artists: 52 Creative Exercises to Make Drawing Fun by Carla Sonheim. And while I was flipping through the book, I decided to try drawing one of the simpler drawings onto my Doodle Buddy App and the result is the image you see for today’s blog. It looks very similar to the original, except I didn’t color in the background and my girl actually looks happy, whereas in the original the girl looks either surprised or scared. I was thrilled at my end result. A move toward art is refreshing and a long time coming.

I also checked out another astrology book from the library and have several others in route. How I love libraries! The book is called Creative Stars: Using Astrology to Tap Your Muse by Trish MacGregor. With a title like that, how could I resist? I planned to start reading it this morning, but I got involved with other books and, one book led to another search, which led me back to the online library catalog, and that led to putting more books on hold. It’s endless.

And before I actually get to my job, I’m planning on stopping in at the library and picking up a few books that I know are on the shelves. I’m so excited. I love nothing more than being inside a library—and inside books.

I thought that today’s happy girl picture fit in with today’s energy. I thank the author of the Drawing Lab book for the inspiration. I can’t wait to begin more doodles and get back to drawing—incorporating it into my life—and learning more.

I hope that you have a wonderful day and a pleasant weekend in whichever way suits your fancy

Rebb

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Evening Pages ~ A Couple of Books, Reading, and Fancy Rice


A couple of weeks ago I started reading a book called Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to Our Children Will Change Their Lives Forever by Mem Fox. I finished it this morning. I was pulled toward this book because of my future volunteer work as a reading tutor for young struggling readers. I would have likely checked it out otherwise, since the topic is interesting to me. I don’t have kids myself, but as many of you know, I still love children’s picture books and check them out periodically—more so now as I love knowing that I will be sharing and learning about new picture books from this opportunity.

What I found most interesting in Reading Magic is that when parents started reading to their children when they were just months old how much this impacted their reading skills as they grew older, as well as instilling a love of reading.

I recently attended the training for those of us who will be tutoring. After going over the details of what we could expect, what the goals are when we sit with our students—one-on-one—as well as some techniques to help engage the children, I felt ready. But, I will remember to go into this without expectations. We were instructed to bring a few books to our first tutoring session just to be prepared, since the students may or may not bring their own books. 

After first learning some nuts and bolts in training, we were then paired up with a partner and took turns reading to each other from Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion with pictures by Margaret Bloy Graham. I was paired with an older gentleman in his late sixties. When we were done reading, I asked him a question and it led to him telling me that he had kept all of his son’s children’s books that he had read to him when he was a child. He said that his son didn’t understand why he kept them and told him he should get rid of them. To his son, he replied, one day you’ll thank me. I told him that was fantastic and that I wished that someone had saved all my children’s books.

I’ve continued to re-explore my astrology chart and have re-visited several astrology books and added a couple to my collection. I’ve looked at my houses and re-looked at my ascendant and rising sign in more detail. I definitely re-discovered insights that made sense and shed some light on things I’ve long “felt” and have known on an intuitive level. Each time I put my chart away and come back to it, it’s like coming back to it for the first time—in a way. It has been very satisfying thumbing through the different books and absorbing the information. It can be overwhelming because there are so many different pieces to look at and some authors focus more on one piece than the other. One small thing that I forget is that there is a lot of fire in my chart. I feel that fire in myself often—even without the chart. It’s all interesting to me and satisfies my quest for continuous learning in the astrology department. But, it’s almost time for me to put it away again, until next time.

I finally made my first risotto—mushroom risotto—only it was from a healthy dinners magazine and was sans the butter. That must be why it had sausage in the recipe, which I didn’t care for. Next time I make it, it will only have mushrooms, onion, and garlic, and the other ingredients that make a risotto a risotto. When my significant other sees it on the plate, he only sees rice, so I’ve started calling it fancy rice with him. I’m just happy that I finally made a risotto. I enjoy ordering it when we go to restaurants that have it on the menu. Each risotto I have had has been different, as though the personality of the chef comes through on each plate.

Another book that I recently purchased, and I wasn’t looking, but my eyes caught Dante’s Inferno on the store bookshelf in the same section is a small book of haiku poems called haiku mind: 108 Poems to Cultivate Awareness & Open Your Heart By Patricia Donegan. I’m savoring this one morsel by morsel. What I like is that each haiku selected by the author also has a short, thoughtful reflection on each haiku and a small bit about the author. I’ve felt inspired and further quieted by this small gift of a book.

slice of moon
brushes up high
cradles me inside

**

Sweet dreams…or sweet morning…wherever you are.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I almost missed The Secret Garden


I shared previously about the book that Anita Silvey edited, Everything I Need to Know I Learned from a Children’s book, and also shared a video of her discussing the book. Toward the end of the video, she shares a story from a conference that took place in Texas. An 11-year-old girl walked up to her and said, “The Secret Garden is my favorite book too.” Anita then asked the girl, “Well, what did you learn in it?” The girl replied, “I learned that no matter how broken you are or how difficult things seem, you can be healed some day and you can be made whole.” Anita said to the girl, “You really understand the message behind that book. It’s a very powerful message."

I related to those words. That exchange—the girl’s experience and what she gained from the story was enough to make me want to read the book—a book that I have long known about only by title, yet hadn’t entered the world that lay beyond. I started with a sample copy on my Kindle and after reaching the end of the sample, clicked the purchase button without hesitation.

When I began reading the story, I had no idea how or where it began or that young Mary Lennox was such a sour puss of a child because of her upbringing. From the beginning until the end, I was pasted to the pages. I loved being a part of the transformation that Mary and those around her went through. Great beauty developed within the garden and in the hearts and souls of the children. This is now a book that I can include amongst other treasured stories—a truly magical book.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

A Little of This & A Little of That

This morning I went to my bookshelves to find a quote. I had a book in mind. Instead I saw another, picked it up, and flipped the pages to see what passages I had marked.

It’s a quiet morning. The sun is taking slightly longer to rise and that is when I begin noticing…I usually rise with the sun. It seems, though, that my inner clock is set on a particular time and woke me before the sun had fully blossomed. When we fall back in October, it will be a test of my inner clock.

Some months ago I picked up a used copy of Ben Franklin’s Almanac of Wit, Wisdom and Practical Advice: Useful Tips and Fascinating Facts for Every Day of the Year by the Editors of The Old Farmer’s Almanac. Now isn’t that a mouth full of a title! Well, it’s probably no surprise that I have the book situated in a place where I can see it daily, yet I’ve only flipped through the pages a few times.

This morning I decided to crack it open to September 5 to see what wit and wisdom I would find. Today seemed to be all about work. I spied that yesterday is recipe day: Rush Hour Pasta and Peas. Sounds delicious. Speaking of recipes, I am finally going to get back into the kitchen. I’ve been relying on prepared “healthy” foods and other prepared meals from Trader Joes. I’ve gotten uninspired in the kitchen and have gone back to my ways of not wanting to cook and clean up a mountain of dishes that seems far too many for only two. I’ve seen some nice lentil and pasta recipes—one that I emailed to myself months ago. I will finally give that a try. It has cream cheese in it too! The October Family Circle magazine also has some nice looking lentil and one-pot meal recipes.

Something came up in our writer’s group. One of the writers is working on a children’s book for the nine to twelve readers. It’s a delightful story, but because one of her characters has a Spanish accent, she has written his dialogue so that he speaks English with a Spanish accent, so he would say something like, “How are joo.” Anyway, rightly so, a few members said that some readers—the parents or librarians—might take offense. I didn’t have a problem with the dialogue, and it added to the adorableness and humor of the character.

I was curious and asked a librarian if she had examples of books where this sort of thing occurred in the published children’s books. She wasn’t able to come up with much, but did tell me about the Skippyjon Jones series written by Judy Schachner. She told me that actually the kids loved the books and they were very popular, but that a review tag had been put on the books because of the very thing that our group’s writer was trying to do with her books. I put a hold on the one titled just Skippyjon Jones. The book arrived and I read it last night. It was absolutely delightful. There wasn’t too much throughout the book as far as exaggerating the spelling to achieve the sounds of a Spanish accent. There were a few spots. For example, one part goes like this, “Then, using his very best Spanish accent, he said, “My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body…” The story really is fun to read out loud. I was laughing and the main character, Skippyjon Jones is a Siamese cat who thinks he is a Chihuahua—or at least he’s pretending. There are also a few simple Spanish words scattered throughout the dialogue. It’s great. I’m glad I’ve been introduced to this book and have another on hold from this same series. So I will share with our writer in the group about this book unless she already knows about it. Also, this book is for a younger age group, so I don’t know if that will make it not very helpful.

**

Flipping through the book that I pulled from my shelves, looking at different passages that I had underlined, I found one the spoke to me this morning, resonated deep within. It’s part of small chapter, “The Spectrum of Love.”

“The highest, most comprehensive level of love is agape—a spiritual, objective, unconditional love. Immature love needs to be loved; mature love simply loves. Agape, or unconditional love, can dissolve the false self…Eventually agape will refine and expand our sense of who we are to infinite dimensions. It will dissolve our separate existence. Then, instead of seeking the security and consolation of the ego, instead of seeking to be loved, we will be love itself” (pg. 47).

From The Knowing Heart: A Sufi Path of Transformation by Kabir Helminski.

**

I’ve always been drawn to all knowledge and wisdom from as many traditions as I can be exposed to. This book was introduced to me in a class I took called The Metaphysical Heart. I will always be grateful for all the different doors and windows that I’ve ventured to open and that have been shown to me—and I will continue along that path—a path that is wide and varied, where I am but a vessel of some sort, knowing and feeling that I am a part of this grand world that stretches far and wide.

Sending blessings and love to the world…unconditionally.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Night Pages ~ Weekend & A Few Books

I had to catch myself from writing August. I haven’t completely settled into September being here. We had a very laid back and relaxing weekend. Some family time with my significant other’s family and some time for just the two of us. We visited with his cousin, her husband, and Little A. We brought over a bottle of wine and some beer. I was planning on having both, but ended up sticking to two glasses of wine and skipped the beer. The men went into the other room and visited amongst themselves. Little A., his mom, and I combined our time between lounging on the couch as we watched toddler TV and playing: building castles and tunnels with foam blocks and legos; and then we played with the zoo animals too. Little A. wanted to race, but he was getting over a cough and had to take it easy. 

I found myself wanting to read Eugene O’Neill’s play, Ah, Wilderness! before we go see it. I really enjoyed the family dynamic that O’Neill portrayed. I admired the teenage protagonist, his love of poetry, his honest and how his parents trusted him, even while his heart was getting the best of him, leading him down a downward path over a misunderstanding. There is much more, of course. I laughed a lot and there was a happy ending.  This is supposed to be one of O’Neill’s rare comedies. Since the library book I checked out also has his other play, Days Without End, I started reading that one too and am intrigued by how O’Neill has presented two sides of one character. It would be interesting to see how it would play out on the stage.

I seem to be in the mood to read plays lately. I finished A Streetcar Named Desire two weeks ago and followed that with the movie version of the play.

Vincent had mentioned Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion when we were speaking about different British dialects. I had seen the movie, My Fair Lady, based on the play some time ago and so I have downloaded a copy of the play to Kindle and will plan on watching the movie again at some point once I’ve read the play.

It seems that it would be a great challenge to write a play. Since plays are so dialogue driven, I don’t feel that I would excel in this genre.

One play that has always stuck with me that I read in a class is Six Degrees of Separation by John Guare. In fact, now that I’m thinking of it, I’d like to read it again.

I’ve had an especially hard time staying focused on any one book. I got 100 pages into The Painted Drum by Louise Erdrich. I soaked in the prose and then something happened during part two with the POV switch. It brought me out of the story because I wasn’t entirely convinced of the person telling the story. I decided to continue reading. I’m now at page 149 and am undecided on whether I will continue or not. I’m disappointed because the story itself is interesting, about a Native American drum and its history, and the prose is lovely; however, there are times, I’m having trouble believing the story. I really want to!

The All Of It by Jeannette Haien is another novel I came across in a book about books for reading groups. I wanted to find a few gems that were older that I may have missed that would be interesting. I only have a little ways to go before I finish. It’s a lovely book about a secret that a brother and sister must keep until the brother dies and the sister tells the whole story to the town priest—that’s the bulk of the book. It’s a surprise and slightly disturbing. I will continue reading to find out how the story affects the priest. He’ll have a tough decision on his hands on what to do with the information he learns: A test of his faith.

Happy Reading!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Lazy Sunday of Reading

Yesterday was lazy Sunday. I enjoyed every bit of it, except at one point I was hungry but couldn’t pull myself away from my reading. I became light headed. I finally ate. Lazy Sunday was a day of reading and I slipped in one movie based on the short story, Don’t Look Now.

On a recent visit to the library I went in search of a book that sounded interesting from my daily calendar. It led me to another book that I saw on the nearby shelves: A History of the Breast by Marilyn Yalom. This wonderful book is providing me a view of the breast from a historical perspective, which I am finding fascinating so far. I already have opinions about female beauty and the differences in beauty and the power of the female body, etc., Yaloms’ book, though provides an interesting analysis as we follow the progression.

From the new section I selected A Journey through American Literature. I started reading Captain’s Courageous. I saw the movie long ago at the insistence of a friend’s father who had a selection of his favorite movies that he always wanted to share with others. The movie touched me immensely and now years later, I am reading this short work. I’m happy that he had me watch the move. I should have finished the book yesterday, but I wanted to give the other books my attention too, and I must say the dialog bogs me down a bit with the different dialects, so I read it slower than usual.

I also picked up where I left off on Ayn Rand’s The Art of Fiction. A question had come up about outlines for writing novels in general. Someone shared a website link, and then I shared a website link, as well as a passage where Rand shares her views on outlines and plotting. The statement that struck a discordant cord from one person was my final sharing on Rand’s opinions that though there is not a dead set rule on outlines, some prefer more details, others less detail—or no outline at all—Rand did have one strong opinion being that, “The only absolute rule is that, whether you write from the beginning or the end or the middle, you must start plotting from the end” (pg. 50).

I like being open to all views, to all modes of approaching any situation. I also tend to see where a story or essay will take me, but my strongest work has been when I have an idea of an end in sight—that of which I wish to convey. I don’t write from the end, but I have had the end in mind. I don’t feel that I’ve done this lately; however, after reading Rand’s statement, and I know she’s not the first to say it, but it resonated with me in my reading other’s people’s work, published novels or even short stories that often fall flat at the end as though there wasn’t a clear picture of what direction the author was heading. Therefore, I see that by having a purpose, the end in mind—in some cases—only makes a work that much stronger. Alternately, there may be times when it’s best to allow a story to shape itself without an end in sight, leaving the story to chance, to the characters, etc.

The bottom line is there are so many choices. We don’t have to follow the same every time. And what works for one writer won’t necessarily work for another. We can experiment and be open to all angles.

There is one piece that I wrote and in trying to find its larger truth that one reader nudged me toward (thank you, Vincent), even though it is already written and posted as a travel piece, I am going to revisit it and try to apply a framework of looking toward the end and figuring out where to go from there. I’m not sure how successful I will be, but I will give it a try.

While reading The Art of Fiction, just as Rand’s own words about Atlas Shrugged convinced me to read that novel, I now want to read The Fountain Head. I’ve downloaded a sample copy and am pretty sure I will be hitting “buy” before long. I have also downloaded a sample of her essays, Philosophy Who Needs It? I suppose I am drawn to her because of her strong opinions. I don’t agree with everything she says. I admire that she’s a thinker and she stands by her words. I admire her characters and her writing, as well as the little bit of her biography I’m aware of, how she taught herself, how self-sufficient she is, how devoted she was to her husband and how he supported and loved her and how though she said she didn’t believe in dedications, she decided to dedicate The Fountain Head to him: “Frank was the fuel. He gave me, in the hours of my own days, the reality of that sense of life which created The Fountainhead.”

Rand speaking of her decision to dedicate the novel touch me deeply:

“I had been opposed to the practice of dedicating books; I had held that a book is addressed to any reader who proves worthy of it. But, that night, I told Frank that I would dedicate The Fountainhead to him because he had saved it. And one of my happiest moments, about two years later, was given to me by the look on his face when he came home, one day, and saw the page-proofs of the book, headed by the page that stated in cold, clear, objective print: To Frank O’Connor."

More from Yesterday’s Reading

Don’t Look Now – A collection of short stories by Daphne Du Maurier selected and with an introduction by Patrick McGrath. Because I don’t usually put too much focus on the types of books I read, rather if the story sounds interesting, I will read it. I have read a couple of Patrick McGrath’s books and enjoyed them very much, especially Asylum. I found it browsing the bookshelves of Barnes and Noble at least fifteen years ago. I hadn’t given thought to the fact that I was reading a work of Gothic Fiction. The only reason it now dawns on me and I experience an “Aha” is that Daphne Du Maurier is categorized as Gothic and here McGrath has selected these pieces, a name I recognize. I do enjoy reading about the dark nature of humans, as long as it’s done tastefully, beautifully—and with a larger purpose.

A Journey Through American Literature by Kevin J. Hayes. I found this slender book on the “New” shelf in the library. It explores American literature in a digestible way, allowing me to easily see the connections in the writers that the author, Kevin J. Hayes, professor of English at the University of Central Oklahoma, has chosen. The book is organized by the following chapter headings: Beginnings, Travels, Autobiography, Narrative Voice and the Short Story, Poetry, The Drama of the Everyday, The Great American Novel, Endings. I am about to approach the section on poetry. I enjoyed all the chapters before that. This really is a gem. Afterthought: I think this book is what brought me back to Captain’s Courageous.

The View from the Seventh Layer by Kevin Brockmeir. I first came across this book about a year or two ago. I think I took a snapshot of the cover in my mind and remembered part of the title because of the number seven and then layer stuck too. And then another synchronistic book experience was that recently almost the same time I was trying to remember the childhood book that I thought was lost forever, I was trying to remember a short story that I read and loved. Certain images circled. The end, portions of the middle , but especially the end were cemented in my mind. I did a google search, typing in words: birds, sound, music, death, older man. I came up dry. I wondered if the story was from a collection by Haruki Marakami. No, that wasn’t it.

I tried to imagine what book had I checked out from the library years ago that could have had this story I was looking for. Why didn’t I write it down like I usually do? Then I saw the cover of The View in my mind: A planet, layers, colors of dusk . I didn’t know for sure, but I checked it out anyway. And well, it was the book! It’s the first story in the collection: A Fable Ending in the Sound of a Thousand Parakeets. I won’t say much about it, only that in these seven pages, those pages came to life. It was music and it stayed with me and I won’t forget this time and I want to keep reading it over and over. It’s an unexpected, understated beauty. I plan on finishing the collection this time. The title story was lovely, yet disturbing. It took me a few days to pull out of the feelings I felt. Subtlety. So that you don’t realize what’s happening until one gesture and then…you wonder if what you think occurred did occur or if it’s the other possibility. I was disturbed. It was effective, surreal, dreamlike.

I came back to Flannery O’Connor’s short stories. I read, “The Life You Save May Be Your Own” and “A Stroke of Good Fortune.” I’m still digesting the stories. O’Connor seems to be in a class all her own. She leaves me thinking and sometimes she leaves me wanting to know more. It’s as though she’s taken me as far as she wants to and then leaves me there—as though the rest is up to me, the reader, to fill in. She’s done her job. Now, I have to do mine.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Grass and More Reflecting on Writing



“The Grass is
always greener
where you
water it.”

From idea-sandbox.com (napkin wisdom)


I came across this blog at work when I was looking for ideas to infuse into our bi-monthly team meetings. This quote is from the blog’s most recent post and I was drawn to the optimism of this familiar quote turned on its side: Productive, self-responsible action. I shared the quote with someone, they the witty one who finds the bleak humor in situations and what this person said to me is, “What if the grass gets peed on?” I thought to myself of course you would ask that. I replied back, “Keep watering.”

Today I am on an early schedule. Still need to complete my personal morning pages. I always get excited when a new and interesting class is upon me and I have been searching about on Amazon at the different short story writing books. I already have my texts for the class, but this is where the excitement comes in and then in the writer’s group I am also energized because each writer brings something different to the group. It has forced me to want to be able to learn the craft even better and before my course begins so that my feedback is more useful. I found a few interesting books and saw one that I had when I took another creative writing course. I had let the book go, but I found myself clicking “add to cart.” I wanted to revisit that particular book: What If? Writing Exercises for Fiction Writers by Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter. I was also drawn to Writing in General and the Short Story in Particular by L. Rust Hills. What If was not available for Kindle and I decided that although Writing in General was, I simply wanted the paper copy, so it’s on order. I was also curious about the micro-story collections and flash fiction collections. I think I’ll wait on those for now.

I was thinking back on my past creative writing course the other day and how I have saved the stories. What I noticed by remembering is that I was able to tell fictional stories based on fact. I was actually able to write several short stories and let myself go. One story though, as I recall, verged on all fact wrapped up in fiction, whereas the others had small emotional moments disguised, made into something different.

I look forward to the short story writing class because it seems I am still hesitant about how to do it, even though I did it. Does that make any sense at all? I believe that having a guide and new examples, and drawing on my storehouse of emotional moments, it will eventually all come together. I also still need to let go. I must admit when I wrote a couple of the short stories, one in particular was partially inspired by one of my self-portrait paintings. The painting was infused with feeling and on that night I had the painting with me down on the floor—and the element that I needed to let go completely was a couple glasses of wine and I wrote with intensity. I sense that I may enjoy a couple more glasses of wine during the upcoming short story writing class. I suppose there isn’t anything wrong with that. I will try with and without. I know many writers drink. Drink, wine, cigarettes, coffee. Don’t they all go together sometimes?

There is one story that I was pleased with. I won’t use it in the short story class because the idea is to produce new material. I can revisit it at some point if I decide I want to and present it to the writer’s group. I am so exited that I’m practically jumping inside of myself. Writing is my bliss; the learning and discovery along the way is never ending—just as it should be.

This morning’s music is Latin Lounge from the Putumayo World Music collection. It sweeps me away to a sensual and rhythmic place. It is a splendid way to begin the day.

Happy watering and creating—happy writing!